PMD: Parody and Spoof Rescue Team: The Necessary Post-Story
by Emily E
Summary: Sequel to my parody of Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Red and Blue Rescue Team based on the game's post-story. Arceus quits his job to teach the other legendaries a lesson in responsibility and stays at Team Awesome's base. But when Mewtwo plots to take over the universe, will they and the legendaries have to work together to stop him?
1. Meet the Legendaries

**Well, here's the sequel to** **Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Parody and Spoof Rescue Team you either wanted or didn't want, because you either like it or dislike it when my stories completely skew the personalities of the original characters. Since I got requests in my last story telling me to make a sequel that lampoons the game's post story, I decided to go ahead and create yet another pointless parody. By the way, if you didn't read my other story,** **Pokémon Mystery Dungeon:** **Parody and Spoof Rescue Team, I recommend reading it as you may not get a few of the things that happen in this story.**

 **This story will also somewhat serve as a satire of fanfiction in general.** **Also, some aspects of this story may or may not be partially inspired by What Goes Down in the PC. Anways, enjoy!**

 **Pokémon does not belong to me, although that would be awesome if it did.**

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The Boardroom of Legendaries, as it usually is when Arceus isn't there to keep it in order, was loud and obnoxious. The legendaries were performing their usual activities that they do whenever they act up. Zygarde was preaching to Yveltal about the environment and recycling, while Yveltal just didn't care and wanted to be left alone while he watched Kill la Kill. Xerneas was watering the boardroom's flowers as well as mingling with the flies swarming around. Kyogre was bullying Groundon and giving him noogies (as you would expect), Zekrom and Reshiram were playing Mortal Kombat, Giratina was in the bathroom, Dialga and Palkia were both munching down on Cheetos Puffs, and Mewtwo was nowhere to be seen. Regirock, who was the oldest and most mature of the Regi trio (and the sanest of all the legendaries), was the only one actually behaving, and seemed rather embarrassed with how all the other legendaries are acting. His two brothers, Regice and Registeel, on the other hand were trying to watch Kill la Kill with Yveltal, but couldn't because of how annoyed they were Zygarde's preaching. Finally, after being driven over the edge, Registeel snapped.

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" Registeel tackled Zygarde and began beating him up.

"Not the face! Not the face!" pleaded Zygarde. "I need that face for protests!"

Regirock grabbed Registeel and attempted to restrain him.

"Now, now, Registeel," Regirock calmly assured his younger brother. "Remember what your therapist said. Being angry all the time is bad for your health."

"I'M NOT *bleep* ANGRY ALL THE TIME!" Registeel yelled at Regirock.

"Someone needs a stress ball," Dialga remarked as he grabbed a handful of Cheetos and stuffed it into his mouth.

"SHUT UP!"

"Alright, that's five dollars in the swear jar for dropping the F-bomb." Regirock sternly replied. "We made a promise not to make this story rated M." He held out a jar filled to the brim with cash. "Now pay up."

"I'm sorry, Regirock," Registeel apologized as he took out his wallet, opened it, pulled out ten dollars, and threw it into the jar. "It's just that ever since we've been driven out of Buried Relic by those stupid greedy rescue teams, I've just been so *bleep* angry all the time!"

"Aha!" Regice, the youngest of the three brothers, sang. "Five more dollars to the swear jar!"

Registeel growled furiously as he yanked another ten dollars from his wallet and shoved it into the jar.

"Yo, this place sure is getting boring," Kyogre stated. "Anyone mind if I play some dubstep?"

"What's dubstep?" Groundon asked, confused.

"This!" Kyogre took out a boombox and played "Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites" by Skrillex.

"Oh...my. This sounds...rather interesting."

"OHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOD!"

As soon as the bass dropped, Groundon began screaming in terror and running out the room. Kyogre laughed maniacally as he turned off the boombox. "Man, what a wuss. He can't even handle a simple bass drop."

"That wasn't nice!" Xerneas scolded Kyogre. "You should apologize!"

"Go talk to trees or something."

"Excuse me?! Trees happen to be the nicest creatures in the world! They are way better people than you, Kyogre!"

"Bro, I rather be a not nice person than a tree-hugging hippie like you."

"OHHHHHHHH!" Regice yelled. "It's on now!"

"Hippie, you say? Well, I never! You take that back!"

"Bring it on, Bambi!"

"No way! You freaking cheated!" Zekrom yelled.

"Did not!" retorted Reshiram.

"Did too!"

Eventually everyone began to argue with each other, breaking out into a full fledged fight. Finally, Arceus entered the room, along with Celebi, who served as his associate (who is also in love with him apparently). Seeing how everyone was fighting, Arceus became angry.

"SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILEEEEEEEEEEEEENCE!"

The room became quiet.

"What in the name of heavens is going on here?! I asked you all to behave and now look what has happened! Proof that I can't trust you even when I'm out of the boardroom for five minutes to get Subwa-er, I mean do paperwork."

"Sorry, Arceus," the legendaries apologized.

The toilet flushes. The door to the bathroom opens, in which Giratina exits. "Phew!" Giratina sighed. "That's the last time I have Chipotle for lunch! What'd I miss?" Giratina noticed the place was a mess from the legendaries fighting. "What the-?!" He exclaimed. "You guys threw a party without telling me?! I'm like the party animal of the group! Seriously, what the heck, you guys?!"

"UGH!" Arceus groaned. "And you wonder why barely anyone takes us seriously nowadays! Just look at us! Mortal Kombat?! Anime?! Cheetos Puffs?! Dubstep?! We went from a group of ferocious Pokémon who helped shaped the world into complete jokes! Kyogre! What on Earth are you doing with your phone?!"

"Takin' a selfie," said Kyogre as he was doing just that.

"WE'RE NOT TEENAGE GIRLS! GIVE ME THAT!" Arceus snatched the phone out of Kyogre's fin, threw it against the ground, and begin smashing it with one of his front feet.

"NOOOOOOO!" screamed Kyogre. "Now how will my Instagram followers ever admire the sexiness that is me, Lord Kyogre?"

"That's quite enough, Kyogre!"

"Whatever," mumbled Kyogre. "By the way, can I be excused from the board room meeting early to go to a party?"

"No!"

"UHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" complained Kyogre. "You never let me do anythiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!"

"That's because you nearly tried to destroyed the world once."

"Yeah," agreed Regirock. "And everytime you go to a party, you always come home drunk off your tailfins."

"Not true!" argued Kyogre.

"Yeah, it is," said Arceus. "Now shut up and stop complaining."

"Stop complaining," Kyogre repeated in a mocking tone as he growled and slumped down on his chair.

"Now, before we begin, let me start by asking where Groundon is."

Zekrom dragged a bawling Groundon into the boardroom. "Right here!"

"Why is Groundon crying?" Arceus asked.

"He's too much of a baby to appreciate the art that is dubstep," said Kyogre.

Arceus groaned. "Can someone please make him stop crying?"

"I will," said Giratina. Giratina approached the sobbing Continent Pokémon. "SHUT UP!" He screamed. Groundon immediately stopped crying.

"Okay..." He whimpered.

"Thank you, Giratina. Now, next off, where's Mewtwo?"

"It appears he skipped the boardroom meeting, sir."

"Every time!" Arceus grumbled. "That stupid cloned freakshow of a Pokémon can't actually ever have the decency to show up at all of our meetings. LET ALONE AT LEAST ONE OF THEM!"

"Sir, calm down. Perhaps he's late?"

"Yeah, right." Arceus mumbled as he walked towards his chair. As soon as he sat down on his chair, a farting noise was heard.

"What the-?!" He angrily exclaimed. He yanked a whoopee cushion out from underneath him. "Who put this whoopee cushion on my chair?!

Regice burst out laughing.

"Oh, brother..." Regirock groaned.

"Regice!" Arceus snapped at him. "I know you're like the youngest in the Regi trio, but would it kill you to act more mature once in a while?!"

"Geeze, sorry," Regice rolled his numerous eyes. "I can tell you don't have a sense of humor, Fartceus." Regice cracked up laughing again. "I called you Fartceus!" He continued guffawing as Arceus continued to be even more ticked off and Regirock continued to look even more embarrassed.

"You've gotta be kidding me," muttered Regirock.

"Okay, so now that I FINALLY have your attention," Arceus began. "I'd like to share some bad news. This world is going to hell."

Everyone in the boardroom gasps.

"Sweet!" Giratina triumphed.

"Not your kind of hell, Giratina. A different kind."

"Aw, man," said Giratina.

"More and more garbage is piling up on the streets!" Arceus turned on a slideshow, where he showed pictures of garbage being piled up on streets and in forests. Zygarde gasped and screamed in horror. "The horror! Whhhhhy?! Hugn!" He clutched his heart area with his tail, and dropped onto the floor. Yveltal sighed as he started to leave. "I'll go get the defibrillators again."

"Not to mention..." Arceus continue. "The music!" Arceus took out a laptop, logged into YouTube, and started playing the music video of "Anaconda".

"My anaconda don't! My anaconda don't! My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon!"

"What's an anaconda?" Groundon asked. Giratina leaned over near Groundon and whispered to him. Groundon began to blush. "Oh, my!"

"But the worst part is..." Arceus continued. "The worst part is...THIS!" He pulled out a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. The legendaries were confused.

"Hey, my girlfriend reads that book!" Kyogre pointed out.

"And do you know what it's even about?" Arceus asked.

"No, not really."

"Well, let me read an excerpt for you." Arceus flipped to the dirtiest chapter in the book and began reading out loud. The legendaries all began reacting with shock and disgust. The Regi trio began self-destructing. Kyogre gasped and covered his mouth in shock. " _That's_ what the ladies read nowadays?! Girls are weird!"

Groundon gagged and ran to the bathroom to puke. Dialga and Palkia began screaming and huddling each other in fear. The rest of the legendaries ran out of the room screaming. Giratina, however, seemed to be the only one not affected by it, and was even eating popcorn as he was listening to Arceus read the excerpt. "Eh," he said as he shoved another handful of popcorn into his mouth. "I've heard worse".

Finally, Arceus finished. "You see what this generation has come to?! This is all your fault!"

"How is it our fault?" Kyogre asked.

"Because if you weren't so busy sitting on your cryptic butts playing video games and taking 'selfies' all day, maybe crap like this!" He held up the Fifty Shades of Grey book again. "Would've been prevented! That's it for today. Now good night!"

Later on, in the breakroom, Arceus was pouring himself a cup of coffee while Celebi continued to flutter next to him.

"Seriously, why does being leader of the universe have to be so hard? Especially when I'm forced to guide a bunch of...of children! For lack of a better term." Arceus took a sip of his coffee.

"I know what you need, sir," Celebi began, as she started to blush. "How about a girlfriend? Perhaps one that's green and also a Grass/Psychic-type? And also a legendary yourself? Maybe one that has the appearance of a fairy? And by that, I mean me. Because I'm in love with you. Since this is a fanfiction and all fanfictions are bound to having at least one shipping in it."

"Celebi, what are you talking about? I don't have time for a girlfriend."

Celebi frowned. "I was only making a suggestion. "You know, because I'm in _love_ with _you_." (by the way, I don't actually ship them. I'm only making fun of those types of fanfictions that do all these weird crackshippings, sort of like what I did in the last story with the whole Xatu and Great/Hate Canyon thing.)

"Well, I don't need a suggestion by you, Celebi. I make my own suggestions."

"Oh, come on!" Celebi growled in frustration.

Suddenly, evil chuckling is heard. An obviously evil figure stands in the doorway, cloaked by an obviously evil mist of shadows.

"Ah, Arceus," the figure began. "My old friend. How are you this fine evening? Enjoying that cup of coffee?"

"Mewtwo!" Celebi and Arceus sternly snapped.

"Aren't you two smart?" The figure stepped forward out of the darkness, revealing himself to be to be Mewtwo. "You actually figured out it was me this time. Congratulations."

"Where were you during the boardroom meeting earlier today?"

"Is it really any of your business?"

"Answer me!" Arceus growled.

"Okay, okay!" said Mewtwo as he held up his hands. "I was buying you your birthday present early. Happy?"

"Yeah, right," Arceus scoffed. "You never remember when my birthday is."

"So...heard you're having a bit trouble with the others, correct?"

"Uh, yeah," replied Arceus. "Pretty much."

"Tell you what. You hand over the universe to me, and I'll fix all it's problems and put all the other legendaries in order. Deal?"

"Never!" bellowed Arceus. "You'll just use your power for evil! I'd rather hand over the universe to Giratina! At least he actually remembers my birthday!"

"And how would you know I would use my power for evil to enslave the entire universe?" Mewtwo asked.

"Because it said so in the fanfiction's synopsis."

"Whatever," Mewtwo grunted. "But I swear, someday the universe will be mine. Even if I have to pry it from your paws!" Mewtwo begins to leave. "See you later, Arceus." Mewtwo immediately then flew into a lengthy bout of evil laughter, which eventually turned into a coughing fit. "Ugh. Stupid sore throat." Mewtwo then left. A few seconds later, he entered the room again. "By the way, do either of you know where we keep the extra laundry detergent? I ran out."

"In the pantry near the laundry room."

"Thanks." Mewtwo left. A few seconds later, he returned again, only to grab a nearby pack of Tic Tacs. "I need some mints. Is that okay with you two?"

" _JUST GET OUT OF HERE!_ " yelled Celebi and Arceus.

"Okay, okay! Jeeze! Later, bra." And after that, Mewtwo finally left.

"I hate him so much," Arceus told Celebi.

"Gee, you two sure don't get along very well."

"Of course we don't! He was created by humans! AKA the worst creatures on Earth! No wonder they all died of starvation. And now that Pokémon have been the dominate group lately, they're becoming just as bad as humans, with crap like this!" Arceus held up the Fifty Shades of Grey book.

"So why are you blaming it all on the other legendary Pokémon?"

"I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated with them. All I want is for the other legendary Pokémon to stop acting so childish all the dang time and actually take responsibility!" He slammed one of his front paws onto the table and took another sip of coffee.

"Can't you just let them have a bit of fun?" Celebi assured the Pokémon. "You can't just expect them to sit around doing nothing for billions of years."

"I suppose you're right, Celebi. But I only want them to learn how to be more responsible every once in a while. Which is why I came up with a plan. I'm going to quit my job and put them in charge so that they'll have no other choice but to act more mature and responsible."

"Quit your job?" Celebi retorted as her eyes grew wide with shock. "But, sir-!"

"Trust me, Celebi. I know what I'm doing. I'm Arceus, for crying out loud!" He peered out the door of the breakroom, where the legendaries have now resorted to watching Kyogre chug down a keg of soda as the other legendaries chant "Go! Go! Go!"

"Gosh darn it, this is going to be more difficult than I thought," Arceus muttered.

"I thought you were the great and powerful and also incredibly handsome and sexy Arceus?" Celebi remarked.

"Shut up, Celebi," Arceus growled.


	2. Team Awesome's Back

**I'm probably just going to post chapters of this whenever I feel like it. Also, I couldn't stop laughing when reading over this chapter, only because of how hilariously over-the-top I made the legendaries (especially Groundon and Giratina).**

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It was beautiful morning back in Pokémon Square. The Tailows were chirping and the sun was shining. Emma, Team Awesome's leader who was a Skitty (but, spoiler alert, was actually a human), yawned and began to stretched as she exited the team base. "Good morning, world!" A Pidgey flew face-first into the team base right above Emma. "Good morning, everyone!" Emma scurried over to the mailbox to check her mail. As soon as she reached the mailbox, Pelipper flew down to greet her.

"Morning, Emma!"

"Pelipper, my man! How's therapy going along?"

"It's tremendous! I can already tell it's working like magic! Of course, I still have the occasional psychopathic outbursts, but it's all cool. I WANNA DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!"

There was a pause.

"Heh," Pelipper nervously chuckled. "Sorry about that. That one kinda slipped out. Like I said, occasional psychopathic outbursts." Pelipper began to fly away. "See you next morning or whenever! YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS SHALL BE MINE! Sorry!"

"Welp!" Emma began. "Better start this day off with a dip in the moat." She headed over to the moat surrounding the base, which was filled with a lifetime supply of Kentucky Fried Chicken gravy (that she got as a reward for saving the world last story) instead of water. As soon as she stepped in, Pikachu frantically hurried up to her.

"Emma! Come quick! Snubbull looks different today!"

"You mean evolution? Yeah, it happens."

"Evolution?" Pikachu scratched his head confused. "What's evolution?"

"You seriously don't know what evolution is? Yet you're a freaking POKÉMON?"

"Sorry," said Pikachu. "I guess my parents never explain to me that kind of stuff."

Emma sighed as she crawled out of the moat, covered in gravy. "Pikachu, it's time I talk to you about the Fletchlings and the Beedrills."

Thirty minutes of pointless details later...

Pikachu stood there with a shocked expression on his face as as Emma continued to looked ticked off. "Yeah," she said. "That's exactly what happens."

"My entire childhood has been a lie," Pikachu quietly muttered.

"Good, now stop complaining. Let's go see this freaking Snubbull already."

"Okay!" Pikachu happily replied and he grabbed Emma's tail and dragged her across the rocky, sandpaper-like trail, as Emma was yelling out in pain.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Emma repeated.

Eventually they reached Wishcash's pond, where Snubbull has now appeared to have evolved into a Granbull. Alakazam stood next to the Granbull and Wishcash was longing in the pond.

"Whoa, Snubbull!" said Pikachu. "You look..."

"I look hideous!" Granbull sobbed. "I feel fat and ugly and I'll never get any dates at this rate!"

"Jeeze, typical teenage drama," remarked Emma.

"What's weird is how all of this happened," said Wishcash. "I thought Pokémon weren't able to evolve due to the flow of the universe being jacked-up."

"I'll say!" responded Granbull. "I was minding my own business this morning until I came across this weird cave near your pond. When I went in to investigate, BAM, I was now this fat, ugly Granbull, and I hate it!"

"I know what has happened," began Alakazam. "Because Emma saved the world and put the universe's balance back in order, Pokémon are now able to evolve, and thus opened up Luminous Cave."

"So I'm literally stuck like this forever?" Whined Granbull. "This blows! I miss my old body and I want it back!"

"You know, Snubbull, or should I now say Granbull," said Alakazam. "Being evolved isn't all that bad. It raises your stats and makes you stronger and even better in battle."

"I don't care!" Granbull argued. "I rather be the old me! Back when I was a Snubbull, I was sexy! All the ladies fell over me! Now I'm old and fat and craggy."

"But, Granbull," Emma began. "Ladies love fully-evolved forms better than pre-evolved forms! I would know because I happen to be a girl."

"Wait, you're a girl?" Granbull asked. Emma frowned.

"What's Emma's trying to say is," Wishcash continued. "Is that if you're fully-evolved, girls will become more attracted to you because most women enjoy stronger, mature-looking Pokémon. And best of all, when Gamefreak finally makes a mega-evolved form of Granbull, you'll be even more of a stud!"

"Wow, you're right!" said Granbull, happily as he began to leave. "See you guys later! I'm going to the local women's fitness club to show off my muscles!" Granbull happily trotted off.

"He is so going to get pepper-sprayed," stated Emma.

"So..." Pikachu began. "More powerful, eh? Hey, Emma! Maybe we should evolve!"

"What?" responded Emma. "And spend the rest of my life with a toilet seat stuck around my neck? No way, José!"

"I guess you're right," said Pikachu. "After all, I don't really care much about attracting women. I'd rather remain a kid forever."

"That's the spirit, Pikachu. Now let's go back to our rescue base and see if there's anything worthwhile to do."

Team Awesome headed back to their rescue base, where to their confusion, they saw Arceus chatting with Celebi. A bunch of luggage was surrounding them. "Arceus?! What's he doing here?!"

"And remember to take your vitamins every morning," informed Celebi.

"I know, I know," said Arceus.

"And remember to brush your teeth twice a day. After breakfast and before you go to bed."

"I know!" said Arceus.

"And don't forget to shampoo twice when taking a shower-"

"I _know_!" snapped Arceus. "Jeeze. You're acting like I haven't been out of the open in a billion years. By the way, what's that large, yellow thing in the sky again?"

"That's the sun, sir. You created it, remember?"

"Oh, right, now I remember. That was my first grade science project. Well, I supposed that's it for now. It's time for me to begin my new life."

"Wait, sir! Before you go, I just wanted to let you know that I've always loved you!"

"Enough prating, Celebi! I see residents. Take care. I'll call you when I feel lonely."

"But, sir! I was only revealing my true feelings for you!"

"No time! Away!"

"Okay, sir..." Celebi forlornly fluttered away from the legendary Pokémon, as tears began to form in her eyes.

As Celebi finally left, Emma and Pikachu approach Arceus. "Arceus? Is that really you?"

"Oh, hey there, Emma and Pikachu. How are you this fine morning?"

"How do you know our names?" Pikachu asked.

Arceus laughed. "I know everyone on Earth's names. I know everything about them, everything that has happened to them, and so forth."

Pikachu stepped forward. "Oh yeah? I bet you don't know what I bought from Walgreens yesterday."

"A bottle of mouth wash, a pack of mints, and some dental floss."

"Wow, it's actually you, Arceus!"

"Wow," said Emma. "I can't believe we're actually talking to the real Arceus! I have to show Alakazam this!"

"Why?" Pikachu asked, confused.

"He's an atheist and doesn't believe in him, but once I show him he actually exists, oh man! Will the look on face be priceless!"

"Can we deal with that after we find out why Arceus is even here in the first place?"

"I'll tell you why I'm here," Arceus began. "The other legendaries have been driving me nuts. I quit my job because I wanted them to develop more maturity and responsibility."

"Wait, you quit your job? Isn't that a bit risky?"

"Risky? Perhaps. Obligatory? Yes. They need to learn that the world does not revolve around them."

"So, out of all the places in the world to stay at, why did you choose Pokémon Square?"

"There aren't many people here, so I can't attract much attention. Also, I heard they have a really kicking TGI Friday's here."

"He's right, you know," Emma told Pikachu.

"Well," Arceus glanced towards the Team Awesome rescue base. "Time to make this base even bigger so that it's fit for me to live in it."

"Wait, you're actually going to changed our team base?!"

"Trust me, Pikachu. You'll thank me for this."

Using his power, Arceus slowly converted the rescue base into an even bigger, mightier, and more majestic fortress, as big as Mount Blunder. Pikachu and Emma gazed up in shock and awe.

"Welcome to your new base," said Arceus.

"Wicked!" Pikachu and Emma hurried into the fortress to check it out. The interior of the fortress had everything they ever hoped. A Jacuzzi the size of a swimming pool complete with a water park and a spa run by the manliest of Machokes and the most exotic of Gardevoirs. A TV room converted into a movie theater, along with every movie imaginable line up on shelves that reached up to its high ceilings (which you can reach using the handy hovercrafts), as well as a massage couch you can relax on. An arcade room/bowling alley that has every video game and console imaginable, complete with a flat screen TV the size of a billboard along with a kitchen filled with every snack and candy you could ever wish. Pikachu and Emma's rooms were both crafted to their liking. Pikachu was into arts, so his room was created into a art museum, also complete with a large aquarium filled with a variety of water-type Pokémon. Emma loved the outdoors and tranquility, so her room was converted into a peaceful zen garden filled with waterfalls, beautiful flora and bug-type Pokémon, and even a small bamboo hut where her bed is. Emma and Pikachu were elated from the renovation.

"Best. Day. EVER!" Emma happily cheered as she ran towards the Jacuzzi and jumped in. Pikachu ran over to the arcade room and began binging himself on video games and snacks.

"You did well, Arceus," he told himself. "I wonder how the others are doing."

Meanwhile, back at the Legendary Headquarters, Giratina was at the door of Arceus's bedroom. He was wearing Batman-themed PJs as he was chowing down on Lucky Charms straight from the box. "Arceus!" Giratina called out in his whiniest-as-possible voice as he knocked on his door. He had been doing that repeatedly for the past two hours. "Arceus!" He knocked again. Groundon approached Giratina, also wearing his sleep garments, which consisted of a snow-white robe and fuzzy slippers. "Good morning, Giratina! What brings you to the door of Arceus's bedroom?"

"I wanna watch cartoons, but Kyogre keeps hogging up the other TV to watch his stupid MTV! When I asked him if I could watch cartoons, he told me to 'get lost twerp'."

"Well, that's rude. Luckily, I have a TV in my own room."

"Perfect! Can I watch cartoons there?"

"Sorry, you can't. Little House on the Prairie will be on any minute and I don't want to miss it."

Giratina moaned and continued to knock on Arceus's door. "Arceus!"

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Two hours."

"Oh, dear. What if Arceus is not here? What if he's..." Groundon gulped. "...missing?!" Groundon screamed as he fainted. Giratina just shrugged his shoulders and continued to knock and call Arceus as he stuffed another handful of Lucky Charms into his mouth. The Regi trio approached Giratina and noticed that Groundon had passed out.

"Sweet!" exclaimed Regice. "Now's my chance!" He took out a marker and pulled the cap off.

"No!" yelled Registeel. "We are not drawing a mustache on Groundon!" he pulled out a make-up kit. "Let's put women's make-up on him instead!"

"Even better!" The two started to get busy.

Regirock groaned. "By the way, Giratina. What are you doing?"

"Calling Arceus so I could ask him if I can watch cartoons on his TV."

"How long have you stood there?"

"Two hours."

"And Arceus hasn't answered yet? I don't think Arceus is home."

"What?! So I wasted two hours at Arceus's bedroom door for nothing?!"

"Yeah, pretty much."

Regirock heard his brothers snickering behind him and turned around, only to see that Registeel and Regice had decorated Groundon's entire face with make-up. "Oh, man." chuckled Regice. "I can't wait to see Groundon's reaction when he sees his face."

Groundon groaned as he began to wake up. He stood up. "What happened? Why does my face feel weird?" He looked in the mirror, only to his horror, to see that his entire face was covered in make-up. Groundon screamed, and passed out again. Regice and Registeel burst out laughing and high-fived each other.

"Why do I bother putting up with you two?" asked Regirock grimly.


	3. A Day With God (and the Smeargle cult)

**Sorry that this was late. I am still thinking of ideas for chapters of this story in the future. I was thinking of doing some chapters based on that scene from the post-story of Explorers of Time/Darkness where the hero and partner take care of that baby Manaphy. How does that sound? Lemmie know what you think in the comments :3**

 **I also hope I don't offend too many people with this chapter :/**

* * *

The day flew by very quick and the next morning eventually arrived. Emma exited her room yawning and stretching again.

"Boy, was yesterday sure a great day. I wonder what Arceus has made for breakfast?" Emma sniffed the air. A delicious fragrance caught her senses. "Is that..." her mouth began to water. "Bacon? And PANCAKES? And...and SAUSAGE, GRAVY, BISCUITS?! HECK YEAH! Hold on, I'm coming for you!" she took off and entered the dining room. A buffet of every breakfast item you could imagine were lined up on the table. Arceus entered the room with a large plate that held a variety of fresh berries (including oran berries, cheri berries, pecha berries, lum berries, leppa berries, wacan berries, ECT.)

"Good morning, Emma!" Arceus warmly greeted the Skitty. "Had a good night's sleep? I made breakfast for you. I quite wasn't sure what you wanted, so I made everything. Go ahead and dig in."

"Aw, yeah!" Emma ran over to the table and began gorging on food. Pikachu entered the room yawning. "I smell breakfast!" Pikachu noticed the buffet. "Wow, Arceus! This looks amazing! I had no idea you cooked!"

"Well, living forever can get a little boring here and there. It doesn't hurt to try knew things. Now go ahead and eat to your heart's content. Gotta keep your energy up when performing rescue missions."

"Oh, by the way, Arceus," Emma said with her mouth full. "After breakfast, I'd like you to meet a little friend of mine."

Later on, Emma, Pikachu, and Arceus stood at the front of Alakazam's house. Emma knocked on Alakazam's door.

"Alakazam! It's Team Awesome! I'd like you to meet someone!"

The door opens as Alakazam steps out.

"What is it?" Alakazam sighed. Immediately, to his shock, he saw Arceus. "Ar-Ar-Ar-Ar-" he sputtered.

"Hello, Alakazam," greeted Arceus.

"Oh, my gosh. It's actually you!" he happily stammered. "You actually exist!"

"Yep," said Arceus.

"I mean, I-I-I was never a believer. I always thought you were just some kind of myth, but oh, my goodness, you actually EXIST!" Alakazam yelled and jumped around in joy.

"So..." Pikachu tapped on his chin. "How come Alakazam being an atheist has never been brought up in the previous story?"

"It's a fanfiction/parody, Pikachu," Emma informed. "Try not to think too much into it."

"Arceus, you have to tell me all there is to know about the world and our purpose!" Alakazam quickly spat out.

"Well," Arceus responded. "Normally I save that for when you die and get sent to the afterlife, but I'll make an exception for you, Alakazam."

"Holy Tauros, I can't believe you actually exist!"

"So, what do you want to do today, Emma?" Pikachu asked.

"I dunno. Let's check the mission board."

The team headed over to the mission board.

"Just look at this!" Emma angrily yelled. "'Please water my plants for me'. 'My parents won't buy me this video game I want. Please get one for me!' 'I need someone to unclog my sink.' We're freaking rescue teams! Not servants! But of course people have to abuse their power of being able to be rescued to forced us to do their chores for them instead of actually, you know, letting us save them!"

"Hey, what about that one?" Pikachu pointed to a letter that appeared different from all the rest. The tagline was "Smeargle's desperate plea!" Curious, Emma grabbed it, opened it up.

"This better not be something stupid." Emma began reading. "'Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Smeargle, and today is my eighteenth birthday. Ever since I was a young boy, I had aspirations of becoming an artist. I would draw everything. Trees, flowers, buildings, French girls, furniture. Everything! Then one day, there was an incident of unforgivable nature. Let me start by informing you that I was born into this cult of Smeargles who brainwashes their members when they turn eighteenth to prevent them from having creative or original thoughts, because they believe that creativity 'obstructs the growth of society and business' or some crap. Not wanting to be like them, I fled my hometown to seek a hiding place in Prowling Forest until they finally gave up looking for me. However, I lost my way. It's dark and scary in this place, and it also smells bad. Please help me!' Wow. Drama queen much?"

"Emma, we must save him. He ran away because he wanted to think independently."

"Whatever. I have nothing else to do. Let's go!"

The team then headed over to Prowling Forest to search for Smeargle. Eventually they reached the end of the forest, where they saw Smeargle. "Hey, look!" Pikachu pointed. "That must be Smeargle!"

"Really?" Emma sarcastically replied. "I thought that was Britney Spears."

"Hello, are you the Smeargle that sent the letter?"

"Yes, I am!" responded the Smeargle. "Glad you came here! Look, you gotta help me! My cult is looking for me!"

"Okay, we'll do something about it," said Pikachu. "But first, let's get out of this forest. It stinks in here."

They escaped the forest and returned to the rescue team base.

"Thank you so much, you guys!" Smeargle thanked the team.

"No problem," Pikachu said. "But you said that there's this group of other Smeargles tracking you down, right?"

"Exactly! They're completely crazy! They believe that anyone who possesses their individualism must be eliminated. They run this cult that brainwashes members who turn eighteen into behaving just like them! Whoever denies the progress is exterminated. They give you another chance if you deny it the first time, but any more after that, and you're done for! I'm only part of this insane group because my parents were the founders."

"Wow," Emma said. "Now that's messed-up."

"Yeah, it is! Now please help me!"

"Hello, Smeargle," greeted a creepy, monotone voice of five different individuals.

"Oh, no," Smeargle muttered with dread. "It's them."

Smeargle turned around, to his horror, he saw a group of five Smeargles. They all stood in a group, had creepy, glowing red eyes, and spoke in a manner similar to the Delightful Children From Down the Lane.

"Don't you dare run away from us again, Smeargle. One more strike, and you'll be exterminated. Ready to be brainwashed?"

"Guys!" Smeargle turned towards Team Awesome. "Please help!"

"Alright, fine. Whatever you say." Emma stepped up. "Alright, listen up, Dumbasses of the Corn. I don't want to have to fight you or anything, mainly because I'm too lazy to put up with another boss battle, so why don't you kindly back away, and we'll call it a truce. Okay?"

"You shouldn't have done that." They begin to step forward.

"Oh, crap. Guys? Help?" She noticed that Pikachu and Smeargle had run away. "Oh, *bleep* me."

Suddenly, the cult because to morph into a giant Cthulhu-like creature

"Are you freaking serious? Where is Arceus when I need him?"

Arceus appeared right next to Emma. "Right here!"

"Arceus! You finally came!"

"Take that!" Arceus blasted the creature with a bolt of power.

"Hooray!" Emma triumphed. "You save me!"

"Heck yeah, I did! Now let's party!"

They began dancing as colorful lights flashed and dubstep began playing. Finally, Emma's dream came to an end. Emma was on the dining room table surrounded by leftover breakfast food, groaning and appearing to be in a food coma from overeating. Arceus and Pikachu stood at the side staring at her.

"Yeah, we finally beat Cthulhu...let's...celebrate..."

"You see?!" said Pikachu. "This is why I tell her not to eat too much or she goes into a food coma and ends up having these crazy dreams. Yet she never listens!"

"I see," said Arceus.

Alakazam approached the two holding mail. "Hey, guys, I found your mail in my mailbo-" he dropped the mail in shock as soon as he saw Arceus. "Holy crap, it's Arceus! You actually exist! You _have_ to tell all there is to know about the meaning behind our existence!"

Arceus groaned. "Not again..."


	4. Mewtwo's 'Tragic' Backstory

**Seriously, screw Level One dungeons. Today I felt like attempting to conquer Joyous Tower just to see what it's like at the top and I ended up getting pummeled at the 60** **th** **floor. The only redeeming factor to those dungeons is the sweet items they contain. Oh, and here's the next chapter, which apparently has nothing to do with what I just now said.**

 **It seems as though Arceus is the sanest one in this series so far, which is quite fitting since he's GOD.**

* * *

Celebi eventually returned to the Legendary Headquarters. The entire headquarters was surrounded by a beautiful garden with colorful flowers everywhere and Beautiflies swarming all over the place. Celebi was forlorn and tears had formed in her eyes. Regirock was sitting at one of the stone benches because he wanted to avoid the madness inside the HQ. Celebi saw him, but didn't bother to speak to him, and only passed by him without a word. Regirock, however, saw that Celebi was sad and decided to counsel her.

"Celebi?" Regirock asked. "What's up?"

"Arceus, that's what's up."

"What about him?"

"No matter how many times I straight up tell him, I can never seem to get him to know my crush on him!"

"Wait, you're in love with Arceus? Oh, geeze." Regirock mumbled. "It's gonna be one of _those_ fanfictions." Celebi glared at Regirock. "Uhh, I mean don't worry, Celebi. I'm sure something will turn up eventually."

Celebi sighed. "If only I can make him understand." Music begins playing.

"Oh, please tell me you're not gonna sing a musical number."

"Well, how else am I going to reveal how I truly feel?"

"Good point," Regirock sighed. "Let's make this quick and painlessly as possible."

Celebi began singing as music played. "Look at this stuff. Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?"

A record scratched, halting the music, as Regirock interrupted Celebi. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's already an existing song! You can't sing an existing song or we might have to deal with copyright issues."

"Yet we're allowed to make poorly-conceived pop culture references and bash on Disney Channel sitcoms?"

"Sing something else."

"Okay." Music started up again. Celebi began singing again. "Tale as old as time. True as it may be."

"STOP! JUST STOP! That already exists as a song as well!"

"Man, why do all the good ideas have to already be taken? Can I have another chance?"

"Sure, whatever. Just try to be original."

"Alright!" The music started up again as Celebi cleared her throat. She began singing one last time. "The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen."

"SHUT UP! Okay, forget about the musical number and tell me where Arceus is already! He hasn't been seen at the Legendary Headquarters in days."

"Fine, I'm going to go ahead and tell you, but please don't tell Arceus I did. I promised him I would keep his plan a secret."

"What plan?"

"Arceus quit his job and left the others in change so that they would be forced to act more responsible."

"Quit his job?! Are you serious?!"

"Regirock, Don't get mad."

"Mad?! Do you realize what has happened ever since Arceus left?!"

"Well, since I haven't been here a while, I don't think so. What happened?"

"Just...just come and see."

Regirock let Celebi into the Headquarters. Inside, everything was smashed and broken. The entire place was filthy.

"Oh, my goodness!" Celebi exclaimed in shock. "What on Earth happened here?!"

"Everyone went feral, that's what. Because Arceus wasn't there to control them."

"Oh, dear. You should've done something to stop them."

"What was I supposed to do? Lecture them? They don't care! They'll just cover their ears and spout gibberish before I even have a chance to speak!"

"This is bad. Arceus is going to be so furious when he comes home to check on everybody."

"But that's not even the worst part. Come see."

Regirock guided Celebi to the boardroom. Through the walls, tribal music could be heard. Regirock opened the door to the breakroom. In there, all the other legendaries were gathered around a bonfire, dressed up in tribal face paint and clothing. They were staring at the bonfire and dancing around in a circle while chanting along to the music in a made-up language. Groundon was the only one not participating in the ritual, because he was tied up to a board, about to be a part of their "sacrifice".

"Uhhh..." sustained Celebi. "What the heck is going on?"

"Exactly," said Regirock.

Finally, a loud tapping sound is heard. The legendaries glanced towards the podium, where Giratina stood. He is banging on the floor with a staff.

"Fellow legendary Pokémon," Giratina declared. "Let the sacrifice begin!"

"Wait, a sacrifice?" Groundon was confused. "Who's being sacrificed?"

"You, Groundon," Reshiram told him.

"Wait, me?! I thought you said you were taking me to the movies! Who's idea was this again?"

"Kyogre's," answered Zygarde.

"Of course it is."

"ENOUGH!" shouted Celebi. The legendaries gasped and glanced toward her.

"HERETIC!" shouted Giratina. "SEIZE HER!"

Celebi exclaimed in fear as the other legendaries ganged up on her. Regirock stopped them using Ancient Power and then Stone Edge, causing the other legendaries to be knocked out for a second.

"Thanks, Regirock."

"No problem."

"Alright, what's the meaning of this?! Why are you dressed up in tribal outfits?! Why are you doing some crazy ritual?! Why is Groundon tied to a board?! Why did you make up some stupid language?! WHAT IS THIS?!"

"Since Arceus is not here," Regice began. "There's nobody to keep us in order. That's why we've gone crazy."

" _That's_ why you've gone crazy?!" Celebi scoffed. "Yeah, right. You're only doing this just because you don't want to take care of yourselves. That's the whole reason why Arceus quit his job!" Celebi quickly covered her mouth after she realized that she just spilled her secret between her and Arceus.

"Wait, Arceus quit his job?!" Kyogre responded angrily. "That two-timing jerk!"

"Oh, don't blame him. You're the only reason why he did it in the first place!"

"Why?" Palkia asked.

"Because all you do is just sit around and act like idiots. He only did it just to teach you how to act more mature. But all that accomplished was making things worse! Oh, and when Arceus finds out about the mess and what you were about to do with Groundon, all of you will be in a MOUNTAIN load of trouble!"

"Oh, just as I would expect," Registeel scorned. "Goody-goody Celebi is gonna tattle on us about the whole ritual thing. Boo *bleep* hoo."

"That's it, Registeel!" Regirock snapped. "You're grounded for a century!"

"What?!" Registeel shouted angrily.

"Haha!" Regice taunted. "Registeel got punished!"

Regirock glared irately at Regice. "Same with you, Regice! No comic books, video games, internet, or TV!"

"Oh, come on!" Regice complained. "What a load of bullcrap!"

"Now both of you!" Regirock scolded lividly. "To your room! NOW!"

The two Regis, having no other choice but to do what their older sibling said, did exactly that without any more arguing.

"So what about us?" asked Kyogre. "Do we get grounded as well?"

"Aww, I don't wanna get grounded!" Groundon wailed.

"Shut up!" snapped Celebi. "None of you are getting grounded."

"Hooray!" cheered the legendaries.

"But you are going to be doing some work. And I know just what will be perfect for some of you. There had been many reports of thieves, mainly certain rescue teams, stealing property from dungeons to make a quick buck, and we need to prevent those occurrences from happening."  
The legendaries groaned. "Awwww man, do we have to?" complained Dialga.

"YES!" yelled Celebi. "A lot of the stuff they steal belongs to the dungeons and we don't want someone getting their grimy paws all over it. So here's the layout. Groundon, you head back to Magma Cavern while Kyogre can head back to stormy sea."

"Awww, I don't like Magma Cavern," Groundon whined. "It's too hot."

"YOU FREAKING _CAUSE_ SUNLIGHT!" yelled Kyogre. "How can you be too hot?! Geeze, and you wonder why I constantly act like a jerk towards you."

"Yeah, and you're not very nice either!"

"Shut up, Groundork!"

"Stop fighting!" Celebi snapped at them. "Regirock, you and your brothers can head back to Buried Relic. Since the rest of you are post-Generation three and have yet to actually have a purpose in the franchise, you guys can stay here and clean up this mess."

"Wait, wat will you be doing?" Regirock asked.

"Me? I'll be back at my home in Impurity Forest crying and eating Dairy Queen while watching 90210 and admiring my Arceus shrine."

The legendaries stare at her.

"It's very complicated. Peace out!" Celebi flies out of the room.

 **Meanwhile...in the depths of Meteor Cave...**

Mewtwo was staring at the giant screen of his computer (in which he installed a camera system into the HQ so that he could spy on the other legendaries 24/7, since all villains are pretty much stalkers). He growled angrily as he slammed his paws down on the keyboard. He roared in anger even more as he began smashing everything in sight. His henchman, who was a Porygon (because all villains need at least someone that'll pay attention to their tragic backstory), was floating right across from him, observing his every move.

"That fool! How dare he abandoned his job and not leave me in charge! I'm certainly qualified! I have the power, the brains, the looks, and I can play Jordan on Expert Mode in Guitar Hero 2! Why wouldn't that celestial moron choose me to watch over the world while he is away? It makes no sense!"

"Uh," Porygon chimed in. "Not to burst your bubble, but it's because you're evil. And you never remember his birthday."

"Yeah, yeah," said Mewtwo. "I already know that's the reason. I just needed some kind of lamenting monologue to start this segment off. But still! I swore to him that someday I will take over the universe! Even if I have to pry it from him!"

"Uh, good luck with that. From what I heard Arceus doesn't take no for an answer."

Mewtwo glared at Porygon. The computer program whatever it is thing exclaimed as Mewtwo blasted him with a wave of psychic power.

"Porygon, Porygon, Porygon. My loyal subordinate who has always been there to suffer through my villainous lamenting. Have you ever noticed that you and I seem to share quite a bit in common?"

"Uh..." Porygon hesitated. "No, not really."

"FOOL!" Mewtwo yelled. "You and I were both created by humans. And we both were banished from society. As a result, we both ended up as pariahs. Outcasts. Ostracized. And it hurts!"

"But, boss," Porygon chimed in. "The reason why you got banished from the public is for all the evil stuff you did. I got blamed for something I didn't even do. The only reason why I agreed to work with you is because you seem to be the only Pokémon who understands what being an outcast is like."

"Oh, boo hoo," Mewtwo sarcastically retorted. "At least you had a decent life growing up. Me? My life was horrible!" tears formed in Mewtwo's eyes. "And that's what I am about to share to you. My tragic backstory. It happened on a rainy day. A wizard approached a door carrying a basket..."

"Wrong backstory."

"Oh, right," corrected Mewtwo. "Sorry. It happened long ago in a laboratory..."

Flashback to a scene where all the stuff Mewtwo describes is happening.

"It was only moments after humans scientists have cloned me, did it occur. A devastating disease broke out, killing the entire population of humans and leaving Pokémon the dominate creatures."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," interrupted Porygon. "Last story we were told that Pokémon caused the humans' extinction, and earlier in this story we were told that they died of starvation. Now they died of disease?"

"Because everyone in this series is crazy and doesn't know jack-crap about what they're talking about and I hate Arceus with a burning passion. Just go with it. So that was when fellow Pokémon decided they should take over in screwing up the world, and now we ended up with crap like Twilight, High School Musical, boy bands, other outdated stuff I shouldn't complain about but I'm going to anyways because screw it. Yeah, you think I'd complain about war and poverty and all that other more important stuff, but no. I'll just complain about the trivial things because that's all that matters to the people of this generation."

"Can we just skip to the point already."

"Fine, if you insist, Porygon. So after the humans died, realizing that I had no one to look after me, I sought the Legendary Headquarters. Luckily they had directions on their Tumblr so I was able to find it. Throughout my journey, I suffered through blazing heat, freezing cold, an annoying 80's pop song, until I eventually reached it. I knocked on the colossal door and to my shock, the one and only Arceus answered the door."

"Who are you?" Arceus replied to the child Mewtwo. "I don't think I remember creating you."

"I told him that I was created by the humans in a cloning experiment, and since all the humans were dead, I had nowhere else to go, and I needed someone to look after me because I was only a child. He just laughed."

"Beat it, kid," Arceus scolded. "This place is reserved for legendary Pokémon only. Are you a legendary?"

"I don't know. _Was_ I a legendary? Luckily, Arceus's assistant fluttered by and talked some sense into him."

"Alright, I'll let you stay. And I'll even declare you as an official legendary Pokémon."

"And that's when my tragic story began. He was a massive jerk to me! He only allowed me to watch two hours of TV a day, didn't let me have dessert until I finished my entire plate of Lum berries, and took away my PlayStation every time I talked back to him!"

"That's not a valid reason why you're evil. That's just complaining about petty things Arceus won't you do."

"Shut up!" Mewtwo snapped. "You're supposed to feel bad for me! So the years rolled by and I was finally enrolled in kindergarten, where the teacher was incredibly cruel to me. She scolded me whenever I would write inappropriate words and pictures on the wall, construct medieval torture devices out of Play-Doh and paper mache during arts and crafts, and this one time she made me sit in a corner after I stood up during nap time and played "Sexy Back" on a boombox while dancing to it. That heartless witch!"

"This is getting ridiculous," muttered Porygon.

"But the worst part was HIGH SCHOOL! I can't believe those scumbags would give me an F on a test like that! After I did nothing but draw swimsuit models on the paper and sleep throughout the test instead of actually answering the questions!"

"Can you just tell me why you became evil already?"

"Oh yeah. Other kids bullied me for being different from them. Happy?"

"It took you long enough," grumbled Porygon.

"BUT NO MORE WILL THEY MISTREAT ME! That is, once I succeed in my goal! To take over the universe!" Mewtwo laughed diabolically as dramatic music played. He eventually stopped and glanced at Porygon, who had a cassette player next to him. "Porygon!" Mewtwo snapped. "Turn off that dreadful music and start playing something a little bit more of my style. Some Daft Punk, perhaps?"

Porygon sighed as he took out his iPod and began playing Daft Punk. Mewtwo continued laughing evilly.

* * *

 **Yeah, I'm fully aware that Mewtwo isn't necessarily supposed to be evil, but I just thought it would be cool to make him a villain. Heck, I'm gonna be portraying Medicham as Pikachu's crazed stalker in the next chap :/**


	5. Vive la Stormy Sea! (and Buried Relic)

Later on that day after that whole incident two chapters ago rolled by, Emma was laying in her bed. She was pretty much ill after gorging herself two chapters ago and was lying in her bed groaning.

"Well, Emma," said Pikachu as he was standing next to Emma's bed. "I hope you learned your lesson."

"That there are some occult religions out there that are just plain crazy?" Emma groaned.

"No!" Pikachu replied, ticked off. "That it's not a good idea to scarf down a massive amount of food all at once. You brought this onto yourself. And now thanks to you being sick in bed, I have to do fricking rescue work all by myself today!"

"Hey, Pikachu," Emma called out.

" _What?!"_ Pikachu glared.

"Do I get half of the earnings?"

Later on, Pikachu was on his way to the mission board until he came across Medicham. She was pacing around back and forth with a worried expression on her face.

"Medicham?" Pikachu asked. "What going on?"

"Oh, no! No! No!' She chanted with lament. "I can't! I can't find it!" She pulled out a map. "No matter how carefully I follow this map, I can't see to find Stormy Sea! I heard that dungeon was loaded with all sorts of treasure! _And I can't find it!_ Oh, dear! What am I to do?"

Pikachu was suddenly familiar with that dungeon. Stormy Sea was the dungeon that they went to to stop Kyogre from destroying the world. "Stormy Sea? Well, I know where that dungeon is."

"Y-you do?!" Medicham stuttered, with her eyes wide open.

"Yeah," said Pikachu. "I've been to it before. I'll help lead the way if you don't mind." He grabbed Medicham by the hand. Medicham began to blush. Suddenly, Medicham felt a spark in her hand and immediately fell in love with Pikachu. It was by that time she knew that the yellow mouse was right for her. They both looked into each other's eyes as romantic music began to play. Immediately, a record scratched, stopping the music.

"No, no, no, no!" yelled Pikachu as he yanked his paw away from Medicham. "We are NOT doing this!" He turned towards the audience. "I am not being shipped with Medicham!" Medicham appear to have a disappointed look on her face.

Pikachu sighed. "Let's just get this over with."

Eventually Pikachu and Medicham reached the entrance Stormy Sea. The Psychic-type Pokémon squealed with delight and hugged Pikachu. "Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"Uh, you're welcome," groaned Pikachu. "But you're kinda squeezing me. Would you mind letting go?"

"Sorry," apologized Medicham as she let go of Pikachu. "C'mon, let's go!" Pikachu yelped as Medicham grabbed him by his paw and they went into the dungeon.

"Wait!" said Pikachu. "Don't we need a Pokémon with Dive before going into this dungeon.

"Silly rat Pokémon!" Medicham gushed flirtingly. "We don't need Dive if we wear a scuba diving outfit!"

"What do you mean _we_ wear _a_ scuba diving outfit?"

"Tada!" Medicham presented a homemade scuba diving outfit that was basically two scuba diving outfits stitched together to make one. "I made it myself before we headed to the dungeon. That way we can stay together the whole time! I knitted it with the power of _love._ "

Pikachu immediately gagged after Medicham had stated that. "Is that why you were taking so long to 'get ready'?"

"Yep!" retorted Medicham.

"Uh..." Pikachu hesitated as he gulped nervously. "I appreciate the offer, Medicham, but um...I think we'd be better off using Dive. I have a team member at home who knows the move."

"Oh," said Medicham disappointed as she dropped the outfit. "If you say so."

Pikachu was weirded out by the way Medicham was all of a sudden acting, but he shrugged it off as just a phase. They went back to the Friend Areas to grab Quagsire and returned to the dungeon to start their journey. Quagsire seemed excited to finally be able to go on a journey with his team, since it's been nearly a year since he was actually used.

"Oh, boy!" he said. "I'm so glad I get to join you guys! What's new?"

Immediately, Quagsire was blasted by a Hydro Pump and knocked out in one hit. Pikachu scoffed.

"Eh, it's not like he was going to last anyway."

Eventually they reached the bottom chambers of Stormy Sea. It was quiet.

"I know that Kyogre is going to ambush us if he finds us here, so be very quiet," Pikachu told Medicham.

"WHAT?!" Medicham screamed. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

"Medicham!" Pikachu snapped.

They gasped as soon as they heard a booming voice call out to them.

"WHO DARES DISTURB MY SOLITUDE?!" it bellowed.

"Kyogre, I know it's you," said Pikachu.

"I AM NOT KYOGRE! I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF STORMY SEA! LEAVE NOW OR PERISH!" Lightning and thunder crashed. Pikachu, unimpressed, approached a booth that was cloaked in a green curtain and pulled it off, revealing Kyogre who was behind an intercom.

"Aw, man!" he complained. "I finally get to test out my new intercom and this happens! What are you losers doing here? And why are you with that Medicham chick? I thought you were already dating that Skitty."

Medicham grabbed Pikachu by the paw with bliss. "Ever since we fell in love, we've never been more happier!"

Pikachu stuck out his tongue in disgust at the thought of dating Medicham. "First of all, Medicham and I aren't together. I don't even like her. Second, Emma and I aren't dating either. We're just team mates."

"I see," Kyogre raised his eyebrows. "Don't wanna admit that you're a player. It's cool. But you shouldn't feel bad about it. It happened to me in junior high once. Heck, one of my ex-girlfriends still thinks I'm dating her when I'm dating someone else."

"You aren't dating anyone right now, my lord," stated Omastar as he was sitting on a chair reading a newspaper.

"Nobody cares what you think, Omastar!" Kyogre replied. He turned to Pikachu. "Anyway, that's how love is."

"I'M ONLY TWELVE YEARS OLD!" Pikachu yelled. "I'M NOT EVEN INTERESTED IN GIRLS!"

"I can make you interested!" Medicham mentioned flirtingly.

"Shut up!" snapped Pikachu. "And just tell me where the treasure is so I can get the heck out of here and get away from this crazed freak!" Pikachu pointed and glared at Medicham.

"Now hold on just one minute!" halted Kyogre. "I just remembered what Arceus said! Chewing gun is illegal in some foreign countries! Oh, and that I'm supposed to protect Stormy Sea from invaders stealing treasure or some crap. Looks like I'm going to have to battle you."

"Oh, great," Pikachu groaned. Just then, Medicham stepped in to stop Kyogre. "Wait! Pikachu and I aren't here to take any treasure. Why, we're just here to...get something for lunch!"

"Uh..." Pikachu hesitated. "Yeah. We haven't had anything to eat in so long, we're practically starving right now."

"Well, why didn't you just say so?" asked Kyogre. "Come with me to the kitchen! I'll help ya choose!"

They hurried to the kitchen where they glanced into the refrigerator. As soon as they looked in, however, Pikachu noticed a strange glowing object inside. It was an egg. It was an sapphire blue with a trail of orange inside it. "What's that? Is that an egg?" he asked.

"Oh, that?" Kyogre shrugged. "That's just something random I found when I got back from the Legendary Headquarters. I'm keeping it in my refrigerator to have for breakfast tomorrow."

"That IS a Pokémon egg!" Pikachu angrily snapped. "And you're planning on _EATING_ _IT?!"_

"Is it any different than when someone turns someone else into an apple using an Itemizer Orb and eats the apple?" Kyogre countered.

Pikachu quickly snatched the egg out from the fridge. "I'm going to take care of this egg and raise the child as my own! Let's go, Medicham!" They began to leave with the egg.

"Yay!" Medicham cheered. "We have a family now!"

"SHUT UP!" yelled Pikachu. "And don't even come near me ever again for now on!"

"Wait!" Kyogre called out.

"What?!" Pikachu called back.

"It gets boring around here. Can I join your rescue team?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure," said Pikachu. "I don't care."

"SWEET!" triumphed Kyogre.

Little did Kyogre know that a surprise was bound to await him back at the base. But what surprise? (spoilers: it's Arceus). What will become of Pikachu and the egg? (spoilers: the egg will hatch into a Manaphy and Emma will become annoyed with it). Will Medicham prove to Pikachu that she is right for him? (spoilers: she won't).

 **Meanwhile...at Buried Relic...**

We continue off with the completely unnecessary subplot involving the legendaries, only this chapter revolves around the Regis (since ironically, despite canonically being emotionless robotic rock-things, they're the only non-main characters in this story with actual personality). Regirock, Regice, and Registeel were just now returning to their old home in the temple known as Buried Relic, which is situated in the heart of the tropical jungles (presumably).

"We're here!" happily sang Regirock as he stood in front of the enterance to the Relic carrying luggage, the only bags he had since he left all of their entertainment stuff back at the HQ (because, newsflash, Registeel and Regice are grounded for like a century). Regirock turned towards his brothers. "So since we'll be living with Father again, I want you all to be on your best behavior. You hear me?"

"Aw, man," complained Regice. "Why do we have to live with Dad? I miss the HQ. Arceus has a pool there! All we have are those weird triangle-shaped things that rescue teams for some reason are trying to steal from us and that weird homeless pink cat creature thing that sleeps in my bed and digs through our garbage."

"Oh, stop complaining, Ice," commanded Regirock. "Arceus isn't at the Headquarters, and we're doing this under Celebi's command since she's pretty much in charge since you and the others have proven that you can't take care of the HQ if your life depended on it. Or Groundon's life, in this case."

"This *bleeping* sucks," mumbled Registeel.

"What was that?" Regirock sternly asked Registeel.

"Uh..." Registeel hesitated. "I mean...this freaking sucks."

"Much better." Regirock pressed a button on the temple, which was disguised as a stone. It caused a large door to open in the temple, creating a large gap which served as an entrance. The Regis entered. It was rather nice on the inside, with gold funiture neatly cleaned and polished. "FATHER!" Regirock called out . "WE'RE HOME!"

The ground rumbles as if a ginormous monster was taking steps. Finally, a shadow of what appeared to be another Regi formed in the door on the other side of the room leading into the kitchen. Three rows of two eyes glowed from the figure. It eventually stepped forward, revealing the one and only Regigigas. "Hello, sons!" He waved.

"Hello, Father!" greeted Regirock happily.

"Hey, Dad," droned Registeel and Regice with barely any enthusiasm.

"How's my favorite boy doin'?" he asked.

"Just fine," Registeel answered with a nonexistent grin (because he has no mouth).

"Not you!" Regigigas answer. "I'm talking about Regirock! Because he's the only child of mine who is able to make me proud of myself!" Registeel glared.

Regice also glared as well. "Yeah? Well, we don't have stoplights for eyes!"

"Regice, go to your room," ordered Regirock. Regice grumbled as he did what he was told to do.

"Ah, I can see the one who makes me proud is also disciplining his brother like the responsible robotic rock-thing he is."

"That's correct. Also, just so you know, they've been very bad at the HQ, so I grounded them for 100 years. And since they're being punished, they're not allowed to have any video games, TV, comic books, or junk food. I know that last one is redundant because we lack digestive systems to actually eat anything, but I only added the junk food thing in to make them feel even more bad about what they did."

"That's my, boy!" Regigigas gushed as he proudly patted Regirock. They hugged. "I love you, son."

"I love you too, Father," Regirock replied.

"Oh, brother," Registeel snarked.

Regigigas pointed in demanding manner to Registeel. "You! Registeel! Go mop the kitchen floors!"

"We don't have a kitchen, Dad."

"I SAID DO IT!"

Registeel mutters grouchily as he grabbed a mop and dragged himself out of the room.


	6. The Legendary Bunch

Pikachu returned to the base and entered, where he saw that Emma was watching TV.

"Hey, Pikachu," she greeted. "What's cooking? Did Chunsoft learn their lesson about making gameplay changes that are complete and utter crapola?"

"Nah. But let's see..." Pikachu began as he tapped on his chin. "Medicham apparently has a creepy stalker crush on me now after I held her hand ONE TIME. Kyogre is now part of our team. He'll be here any minute. He just said he was heading to Staryubucks. Oh, I also have an egg."

"You and Medicham are dating now?" Emma asked confused.

"NO!" screamed Pikachu. "I held her hand ONE TIME, and now she's obsessed with me to the point where it's creeping me out! By the way, I also found this EGG that I need help TAKING CARE OF."

"No prob! Let's fire up the stove and fry this baby!"

Pikachu glared at Emma growling.

"What?"

Suddenly, the egg began to glow. Pikachu and Emma gasped.

"It's hatching!" Emma pointed out.

Pikachu sniffed as tears formed in his eyes. "It's a miracle. Our son has finally arrived."

"Whoa, _our_ son?!" Emma exclaimed. "I don't have to be the mother of this thing, do I?"

"Well, yeah. I'm the father of him in this case and I need someone to help me take care of him. And there's no way I'm letting Medicham near him."

"How do you know it's a boy?"

"Just shut up and enjoy one of nature's miracles already."

They continued to watch the egg hatch. Finally, the egg finishes hatching, revealing an adorable baby Manaphy. "Mana Mana?" it babbled.

"Awwww!" Pikachu and Emma cooed at the baby.

"He's so cute!" Emma commented.

"What should we name him?" asked Pikachu.

"Let's give him a real name," suggested Emma. "I'm tired of being the only one in this city that has an actual name."

"How about Pikachu Junior?" Pikachu recommended.

"How about just plain Junior? How does that sound?"

"Perfect!" agreed Pikachu. "We'll call him Junior for short."

"Why do I even bother talking to you?"

Suddenly, Junior began crying extremely loud, causing the entire base to shake.

"Why is Pikachu Jr. crying?!" Pikachu exclaimed as he tried to keep his balance from the rumbling.

"Well, let's see..." Emma began to think. "Babies cry either when they're hungry or they just went wee wee. If it's the latter, I'm outa here."

"Hungry! That's it! Emma, do we have any baby food in stock?"

"What is this, a retirement home? Of course not!"

"Then what do we have that we can feed it?"

"Well, I do have sixty gallons of Nutella. Is that good enough?"

Pikachu glared at Emma.

"What?"

Arceus came into the room. "What's with all the crying?! I'm trying to get my beauty sleep!" He sees Manaphy. "What is that thing?"

"I don't know. But we want it to stop crying because it's annoying as heck," said Pikachu.

"I know what'll make it stop crying!" said Arceus as he hatched a plan. With his godly powers, he created a bottle filled with Nutella. He gave it to Manaphy. Manaphy began drinking it in delight.

"What do you know?" said Emma as she smirked at Pikachu. "Nutella really does solve all problems."

Pikachu grumbles.

"HEY, HEY, HEY!" yelled Kyogre as he stormed carelessly into the room, holding Staryubucks coffee. "WAZZUP MA PEEPS?! Dank mansion you got here! I totally didn't accidentally use Sheer Cold on your swimming pool!" Immediately he sees Arceus, staring at him blankly. Kyogre drops his Staryubucks coffee in shock. "Uhhh! Uhhhhhh!"

Arceus glares at him.

"Arceus! Wha-what are you doing here?!" asked Kyogre, nervously.

"What are YOU doing here?!" asked Arceus, ticked off.

"I was just...uh...borrowing some deodorant!"

"Preposterous!" shot back Arceus. "You only use Axe spray."

"HEY!" yelled Emma. "Can someone please tell me why he's here."

"Right after Kyogre tells me what's going on," said Arceus.

"Alright!" stated Kyogre. "I admit! I got bored with my current state of life so I decided to join a rescue team."

"What?! You can't join a rescue team! That's against the Legendary Code of Honor!"

"Annnd theme song time!" Emma chimed in.

Cue the tune to the Brady Bunch theme song. We begin with a large blue frame in a pitch-black abyss revealing Kyogre smirking arrogantly at the viewers.

 _Here's the story of a jerkish fish beast_

Reveal the frames holding Pikachu, Medicham, and Manaphy. Medicham is smiling and waving flirtingly at Pikachu while Pikachu recoils in disgust.

 _He's a jock who seems to think he is so fine_

 _He pumps iron, but is bad with the ladies_

 _And should lay off the Pok_ é _puffs 'cause he's on the chunky side_

Kyogre's smile fades as soon as he hears the singer say that. "HEY!" he shouted angrily.

The frames fade away and eventually reveal another large one with Arceus, who appears to have a grouchy demeanor on his face.

 _Here's the story of a fairly sane god_

Reveal the frames holding Emma, Magnemite, and Quagsire. Emma also has a grouchy demeanor and Quagsire is just derpily staring into space.

 _Lived with smart-aleck deities who act like kids_

 _He quit his job to teach them them a lesson_

 _But, unknown to him, that didn't do the trick_

"Wait, what?!" yelled Arceus.

We then fade to both Kyogre and Arceus's frames, with Arceus on the top and Kyogre on the bottom.

 _They went to a city where the folks are crazy_

We then pan to Arceus, Pikachu, Emma, Kyogre, Manaphy, Medicham, Quagsire, and Magnemite all together (yeah, Quagsire, Medicham, and Magnemite are not gonna be appearing in this story anytime soon but who cares. We need some characters to take up the extra spaces) in three rows of frames, the top and bottom row having three and middle row only having two with one of each side. Kyogre is on the middle of the top row with Pikachu on the right and Emma on the left and Arceus in in the middle of the bottom row with Manaphy on his right and Medicham on his left. Magnemite is in the right frame in the middle row and Quagsire is in the left frame. The theme continues.

 _And befriended a sociopathic cat_

 _Who does rescue work along with_

 _A talking bowling ball, a fish, some creepy stalker chick, and a rat_

 _Plus some freakishly cute sea creature_

 _That they are mothering, soon they'll bond at brunch_

 _And together they make a family_

 _That's the way they all became the Awesome Bunch!_

Reveal the white, bold title, which says "The Awesome Bunch".

 _The Awesome Bunch!_

 _The Awesome Bunch!_

 _They're way more awesome than Dairy Queen lunch!_

A Gothorita, serving as their maid, pops out onto the center frame out of nowhere.

* * *

 **Yeah, this chapter was pretty boring, that's why I did the whole Brady Bunch thing, but I promise the story will get better.**


	7. Nightmares Do Come True

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Emma woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of screaming. As you would expect, she was ticked off.

"For crying out loud! I'm trying to get some sleep!" She stomped out of her room and over to Junior, who was bawling his eyes out. "What do you want, more Nutella?"

Pikachu also entered the room as well, followed by Arceus.

"Junior!" Pikachu cried, concerned. "What did you do to him, Emma?!"

"I didn't do anything, dumbass," replied Emma. "He was the one that woke me up from my dream of being stranded on an island entirely populated by Shia Labeoufs."

"I know what's wrong," stated Arceus. "Maybe he had a nightmare."

"Oh, please," scoffed Emma. "Like that's-"

Evil laughing is heard as a black cloud forms over Junior's head, and Darkrai emerges.

"Oh, great," groaned Arceus. "This guy again."

"You know him?" Pikachu asked.

"We went to college together. He was always so annoying. He's also one of those pseudo-legendary types who think they're so all that but they really aren't."

"Yo, Arceus, my man!" shouted Darkrai.

"Hey, Darkrai," droned Arceus.

"Don't mind me. Just causing nightmares!"

"What was the nightmare about?" asked Emma.

"They made another Alvin and the Chipmunks sequel. Well, off to have that nightmare actually come true! Peace out!" Darkrai escaped through an open window.

"Man, I hate that guy," muttered Arceus.

Pikachu grabbed the still-whimpering Junior to comfort him. "There, there, it's okay. Nothing can hurt you now. "

"Hey, I wonder why Kyogre wasn't woken up from all the racket?" Arceus pondered. And immediately after referencing him, Kyogre stormed into the door intoxicated.

"Heeeeeeeey, everyone!" Kyogre slurred. "I'm baaaaaack!" He laughed maniacally as he stumbled over to the sofa and plopped down, sprawling his fins out onto the coffee table and knocking everything on it over, creating a mess. "Are you guys having a hoedown?" He hiccuped. "Can I JOOOOOOIN?!"

"You've gotta be kidding me," Arceus moaned.

"Whoa, is Kyogre drunk?" Pikachu inquired.

"Yes, when we lived together in the Legendary Headquarters, he would come home every other Saturday like this. It ticks me off to no end."

"Arceus, I been meaning to tell you this," Kyogre slurred, as he hiccuped again. "But I never got the chance. I think you're totally sexy. I want to marry you." He rolled off the couch, falling face flat onto the floor. Gentle snoring coming from the Sea Basin Pokémon could be heard.

"At least he's finally asleep," mumbled Arceus.

"Well, this blows," said Emma as she began to leave the room. "I'm going back to bed so that I have enough energy tomorrow morning to move the plot along."

The next morning, Emma was walking to Wal-Mart to get more Nutella, until she came across some Pokémon talking.

"Wow, that's so cool! I would sure like to get my roots on some treasure!" said Bellsprout.

"Like, OMG! I know, right?" said Shiftry.

"Hey," Emma chimed in. "What are you two going on about?"

"Buried Relic!" said Shiftry. "It's all the rage these days. "Man, if I were to get my leaves on some gold coins, I could buy all the Call of Duty games in the world!"

"Yeah, I don't have time for this. There's this subplot involving this Manaphy that I'm forced to take care of and I need to solve it as soon as possible." Emma began to leave.

"But did you know that there's powerful legendary Pokémon in the temple," informed Bellsprout.

Emma perked up and turned her head. "Legendary...Pokémon?" Emma thought for a second. "I already have Arceus and Kyogre, two powerful legendaries, part of my team, but imagine how potent I'd be if I recruited even more legendary Pokémon! Team Awesome would be an unstoppable tank! And considering how useless Quagsire is other than for diving and how Magnemite's still recovering from that whole "meteor incident", I really should recruit more members." She turned towards Bellsprout and Shiftry. "What are the requirements?"

"You have to know how to use Surf."

"OH COME ON!" yelled Emma. "I doubt Kyogre would want to come. He only joined us just to get away from Stormy Sea. And now I'm forced to use Quagsire. Why must life be so unfair?"

"Hey, Emma," Pikachu approached her. "Can an X-Box still work if you jam crayons into it and turn it on for a while? Because that's what Junior did just this morning."

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" Emma yelled up to the sky.


	8. Buried Hopes in Buried Relic

Meanwhile, Mewtwo was busy spying on the legendaries over at the HQ using the cameras and other equipment he installed throughout the building as he wanted to find out their secrets.

"Uh, sir?" Porygon asked. "Are you sure this is even considered morally adept? We're technically eavesdropping on them."

"IT'S NOT EAVESDROPPING!" Mewtwo snapped. "It's maliciously gathering information through technological means. Huge difference. Now I can finally uncover the secrets of the base. Let's check the game room first."

He switch the camera view to the game room. In there, Dialga and Palkia were playing pool while chatting.

"So I was like, 'Oh no ya did-n't! And she was like 'Oh yes I di-id!" Palkia gushed.

"Too boring," stated Mewtwo. "Just a bunch of talking. Let's check some bedrooms."

He switched to Giratina's room, where he was singing "California Gurls" by Katy Perry.

"California girls, we're unforgettable!" he sang. "Daisy dukes, bikinis on top!"

"Seriously, don't these guys have to, like, look after the universe and stuff?" asked Mewtwo. "What is this crap I'm watching anyway? Y'know what? Forget it." he turned off the monitor. "I'm done with this. Let's go to Buried Relic and rob the Regi trio."

"Why?" asked Porygon.

"Because I feel like it," answered Mewtwo.

"Good point."

They took off from their underground cave to head off to the jungles. Meanwhile, Emma was already there and of course she had to drag Quagsire along with her because she needed a team member that knows Surf.

"Seriously, why do I constantly have to drag your butt around? You're not useful for anything!"

"But Emma!" Quagsire pleaded. "Of course I'm useful! And I can prove it!"

"Alright, fine," Emma noticed a Sneasel chatting with a Raticate. "Prove it. If you're so 'great', then beat up that Sneasel and Raticate."

"Sure thing!" Quagsire being to approach the two Pokémon. "Gee wilikers, this is gonna be fun!"

Meanwhile, Raticate and Sneasel were chatting about unimportant stuff that a rat and an ice badger thing would normally chat about.

"Hey, Raticate!" said Sneasel.

"What?" asked Raticate.

"I'm making a movie! It's gonna Starmie and it's gonna Staryu!" Sneasel began cracking up.

"Screw you!" said Raticate, ticked off.

"Hey, guys!" greeted Quagsire as he approached the duo. "How's it hanging?"

"Well, well, well," Sneasel sneered. "What do we have here?"

"Wimpy Quagsire," Raticate continued. "It's been so long."

"Wha-what are you talking about?" Quagsire was confused. Suddenly he had a burst of remembrance. To his shock, they were the same guys who used to bully him all throughout grade school. "Oh, no. I remember you. You used to be my bullies!"

"That's right," sneered Sneasel as he smirked. "And now that we're face-to-face again, it's time for a world of pain! You ready, Wimpy Quagsire?" The two began ganging up on the poor Water Fish Pokémon. "Eep!" he squeaked.

Meanwhile, Emma was watching the whole thing and she was confused as to why Quagsire wasn't doing what she ordered him to do. "What's he doing?" Emma asked. Suddenly, she realized what was happening. "Quagsire!" She called out. "Run away! Abort! Abort!" She begin flinching as she witnessed Sneasel and Raticate beating up the helpless Quagsire to a pulp. Eventually, they stopped when they got bored.

"C'mon, Raticate. I'm bored. Let's go." They begin to leave.

"Later, loser!" Raticate shot out

"Catch ya later, Wimpy Quagsire!" Sneasel spat.

Emma slowly approached Quagsire. Quagsire was lying on the ground coughing. He had a bloody nose and was covered in bruises, with one black eye.

"Uh...guess that was a bad idea," said Emma.

"You were right, Emma. I'm a useless loser. I'm not good enough for anything."

"Hey, don't say that. I'm sure scrawny old Quagsire has some rage building up in there." Emma noticed a Drowzee staring creepily into space. "Hey, how about that creepy old pedophile-looking tapir thing? He looks like an easy target. Go kick his ass!"

Quagsire burst out into tears. "You were right! I am a failure! I can't fight! I'm worthless!" He began crying as he ran back home. "Donald Trump is from Jupiter! Apricots want to take over France! The Earth is shaped like a trapezoid, not a sphere!"

"Gee, I feel sorry for him." said Emma. "I'm tempted to just continue on with this mission, but I have an uncontrollable urge to make him feel better." Emma begin to walk home. As she forlornly left the temple, she passed by Mewtwo and Porygon.

"Geeze, what's with her?" Mewtwo asked.

"She probably knows some idiot who thinks the Earth is a trapezoid and apricots will take over France," answered Porygon.

"Probably so," said Mewtwo.


	9. Raticate and Sneasel's New Crush

Emma eventually reached back to the mansion where Quagsire was located. When she opened the door, everything was a mess. Garbage covered the floors and furniture was knocked over.

"Damn it, Quagsire!" Emma spat. "When I'm done comforting you, I'm going to kill you afterwards!"

Emma went over to the hallways where she heard crying behind a door. She opened the door only to see Quagsire in the bed sobbing.

"Quagsire?" She asked. "First of all, are you okay? And second, you know I'm going to have to kill you afterwards for wrecking our mansion."

"I'm sorry, Emma," he sniffled. "I let you down again."

"What? No!" Emma denied. "You tried your best, and that's all that matters."

"But why should I bother? I'm nothing but a failure. A disgrace. I'm the most worthless Pokémon ever!"

"That's not true. The most worthless Pokémon ever is Luvdisc. Look, Quagsire, just because some douchebags are bullying you doesn't mean you should give up. You know what you're really supposed to do if some bullies are being jerks to you?"

"What?" asked Quagsire, sniffling.

"Get back at them, obviously! Give them a taste of their medicine!"

"But I'm too weak!" debated Quagsire.

"Then you obviously need some training. With the power of rock music. Cue Rocky reference!"

The Eye of the Tiger begins playing as a montage of Emma training Quagsire is shown. Quagsire is constantly getting knocked out by Pokémon at the Dojo as Emma facepalms.

 _Rising up, back on the streets_

 _Did my time, took my chances_

Now Quagsire is doing typical exercising routines such as weightlifting, push-ups, and punching bag exercises, which he is having trouble doing.

 _Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet_

 _Just a man and his will to survive_

 _So many times it happens too fast_

 _You trade your passion for glory_

 _Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past_

 _You must fight just to keep them alive_

Quagsire continues fighting Pokémon and exercising, appearing to be getting gradually better.

 _It's the eye of the tiger_

 _It's the thrill of the fight_

 _Rising up to the challenge of our rival_

 _And the last known survivor  
_

 _Stalks his prey in the night_

 _And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger_

"Emma," Quagsire began after he just finished off an entire Monster House. "I'm ready.

"Well, considering that you single-handily defeated a Monster House, it's obvious you're ready," stated Emma.

"To Buried Relic we go, to show those jerks a piece of our mind!"

 **Meanwhile, back at Buried Relic...**

Mewtwo and Porygon appeared lost.

"Sir, are you sure we are going the right way?" asked Porygon. "Shouldn't we, y'know, use a map or something?"

"Of course we are going the right way!" stated Mewtwo. "I don't need any map to tell me otherwise!"

"We probably need to ask for directions," said Porygon.

"Fine, go ask for directions from that Raticate and Sneasel over there. I don't care."

"Fine then. I will." Porygon floated up to the Raticate and Sneasel. "Excuse me, do you two know where each of the Legendary Golem's rooms are located?"

"Why should we answer an old geezer like you?" sneered Sneasel.

"I was just asking."

"Yeah, well you were just asking to be pummeled by us!" shot out Raticate. "Sneasel, let's get him!" The two began to gang up on Porygon.

"Sir? Siiir?!" Porygon cried out. However, it appears that Mewtwo had already left him. "Oh, dear."

"Ready, old man?" growled Sneasel. Before the two could do anything else, a bunch of rocks began plummeting from the ceiling, killing Raticate and Sneasel. Porygon look in horror from all the blood.

"DEAR WAILORD!" He exclaimed in horror. He looked up only to see Regirock stand right in front of him.

"Uh..." said Porygon. "I hope you'll clean that up before someone calls the cops."

"Yeah, sometime later" said Regirock. "Come with me." With only a second of hesitation, Porygon followed Regirock. Just then after, Emma and Quagsire arrived at the scene. Instead of seeing the Raticate and Sneasel like they wanted to see, all they saw was their blood and corpses that were underneath the large pile of rocks.

"Oh my Arceus!" exclaimed Emma. "Did a crime scene go on here or something?!"

"Where's Raticate and Sneasel?" asked Quagsire.

"Quagsire, as much as I hate to break it to you, I believe they were crushed underneath those rocks. You know what this means."

"That obviously there are some supernatural forces occupying this temple."

"Actually, it means that we did that entire "Rocky" segment all for nothing. FOR NOTHING!"

"And it also means that some legendary beings must be roaming around here, because no normal Pokémon are able to produce rocks that big out of thin air."

"Aw, great," moaned Emma. "More boss battles I'll have to endure?"

"Let's go!" Quagsire happily said as he grabbed Emma and dragged her across the floor. Emma sighed.

"At least you got your confidence back."


	10. Fast Times at Legendary High

**Pokémon Sun and Moon are coming soon! ALL ABOARD THE HYPE TRAIN! CHOO-CHOO!**

* * *

Over in Regirock's living room, Regirock and Porygon were sitting in chairs face-to-face with each other.

"I have to say, Mr. Regirock." began Porygon, trying to start conversation. "Your house is rather nice."

"Please, call me just Regirock. And I would say it looks nice, but most of the time it looks like crap to me."

"No! Not at all!" Porygon countered. "What makes you say that?"

"Because I used to feel like that about myself until my brothers helped me think otherwise."

"Why was that?" Porygon was confused.

"It happened when my brothers and I were growing up," Regirock began. "I was the smart one, Registeel was the athletic one, and Regice was the fun one. So I wasn't very popular in school as you may guess."

"Wait, why do legendary Pokémon even need to go to school? Why did they even go to school? How was Arceus in the first grade once? In fact, does anything in the story make any sense like at all?"

"SHUT UP, IT'S A FANFICTION, IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO MAKE SENSE. Anyway, it all started back in high school..." Flashback to Regirock, Regice, and Registeel as teens at the high school known as Legendary High (yeah, I'm running out of ideas, so I'm putting the legendaries in high school. You're welcome), where they were just hanging around by a wall at school. Regice was playing on a Gameboy and wore a baseball cap backwards, Registeel was wearing a football uniform and twirling a football on his hand...things or whatever they are, and Regirock was studying his math textbook (it's a parody. Don't question the anachronisms. Plus, they're legendary so they can do anything). "We were hanging around minding our own business, and there we saw them." Suddenly all the legendaries began swooning over three female legendary Pokémon. They were Meloetta, their leader, and her two lackeys, Cresselia and Diancie, left and right respectively. "Meloetta, the head cheerleader and most beautiful girl in school appeared to be heading right towards us."

"I get the one on the left!" said Regice.

"I get the one on the right!" said Registeel.

"What about Meloetta? I thought both of you had a crush on her!" said Regirock.

"She's way above our league," said Registeel. "But you feel free to ask her out."

"As soon as Registeel and Regice left with the two girl," Regirock continued narrating. "It was my time to shine. I approached her, nervous, but I kept saying to myself that she was attracted to freakish, braille-faced rock monsters, which of course wasn't true but it still gave me some hope. Finally, I reached her."

"Meloetta..." Young Regirock began. "Will you...go on a date with me?"

"YOU?!" She spat. "Why would I want to go out with some freakish braille-faced geek?!"

"Yo, Meloetta!" said a voice familiar to Regirock. It was Volcanion, the star quarterback. "Is this nerd bothering you?"

"Yes, Volcanion," answered Meloetta. "Use your fire and water powers on him for me."

Volcanion began shooting fire and water at Regirock. Everyone was laughing as Regirock sadly limped away all the way back to his home in Buried Relic. Regigigas was standing at the front door.

"Hello, Regirock!" he greeted.

"Hi, Dad," said Regirock.

"Why are you looking so down in the dumps?"

"Oh, I just got rejected by a girl."

"Don't worry. She'll regret it eventually. Because I know you got a bright future already ahead of you."

"Thanks, Dad." said Regirock.

"That's why I cared about my father so much. He was always there for me during the toughest of times. So I decided to go in the living room and watch some Prehistory Channel, until I saw something in there I'd never though I'd see."

To his surprise, Registeel and Regice were there as well, appearing forlorn on the couch.

"Why are you two here?" Regirock asked. "I though you went on dates with Cresselia and Diancie."

"Cresselia rejected me as soon as she saw a Rampardos that was way hotter than me," said Regice.

"And Diancie ditched me when she saw an Aerodactyl that had a way cooler Chevy than me." said Registeel.

"Aww, I'm sorry," Regirock said sympathetically to his brothers.

"It's cool," said Regice. "They weren't worth our time anyway."

"I can't believe I ever had a crush on Meloetta," Regirock mentioned. "Given that she rather go out with a jerk like Volcanion then someone actually intelligent who treats women with respect."

"Well, if you ask us, you're way cooler than Volcanion," said Regice.

"You're just saying that," mumbled Regirock.

"No, we're dead serious," said Registeel. "We actually think you're way cooler than Volcanion. That guy's a total poser. He's only on the football team not because he likes the sport, but because he wants to get more chicks."

"Plus, he looks like a giant pacifier." said Regice.

"Thanks, guys, for cheering me up. You truly are the best."

"No, prob," said Registeel.

"That's when I decided," continued Regirock as we faded back to present day. "That I was going to look out for my brothers and try to help them become more mature like me. Unfortunately, that didn't work out real well."

"Interesting," said Porygon.

"Y'know," Regirock continued. "Perhaps I was being a bit too hard on them. I should unground them and give them another chance."

"That's nice and all but I want to know what kind of treasure you have," declared Porygon.

"Well, even though I've only known you for fifteen minutes, you're the only one that was willing to listen to my story, so I don't see why not."

Regirock lead Porygon into his bedroom, where there, the colorful, triangle-shaped stones were located, sitting in glass displays, each shining in a colorful array of red, blue, and gray.

"Wow..." Porygon stared in awe.

"I know, right? I don't know what they do when you put them together; I never bothered to find out. But I have a feeling it might be something incredible."

"Uh, Regirock? I think you forgot to water your chrysanthemums."

"What?! Why didn't Registeel remind me?!" He began to leave the room, but stopped when he realized something. "Wait a minute...this weather is too humid to even support chrysanthemums!" He turned around and gasped when he saw that the stones where missing.

"F*CK! Dad's gonna kill me!"

"Haha!" Registeel pointed out as he barged into the room. "Five dollars to the swear jar!"

"Shut up, Registeel," Regirock grumbled.

* * *

 **By the way, I have nothing against Volcanion (in fact, I think it's awesome that we finally have a Fire/Water-type Pokemon after six whole generations). I just thought he looked like a giant pacifier the more I looked at his design and thought it would be funny to mention that XD**

 **Yes, the legendaries were in high school at one point and Gameboys and Chevys existed in prehistoric times. It's supposed to be a goofy story written for fun, so try not to dig too deep into it.**


	11. Cloning Rocks

"Guys, this is bad," droned Regirock as Registeel and Regice stood in front of him.

"I know," said Registeel. "We're all out of bath bombs. Now how am I supposed to keep my beautiful steel body shiny and smooth while also enjoy watching the fizziness of the bath water?"

"No! I'm talking about the fact that someone stole our pyramid...part...thingies."

"Oh, no! That's terrible!" cried Regice. "Registeel and I use those for hopscotch!"

"Seriously?" Regirock crossed his arms "You two don't realize that if these stones are in the wrong hands, who knows what may happen?"

"Blue Sky might make another Ice Age movie!" Registeel gasped.

"Uhhh...Registeel?" Regice tapped on Registeel.

"What?" Registeel asked.

"Never mind," said Regice.

"Guys, if these stones get into the wrong hands, then they might be used to take over the world! Or even worse, the entire universe!"

"Seriously, Rock," said Registeel. "How did you even manage to lose these stones?"

"I don't even know!" answered Regirock. "One minute I was telling my new friend Porygon about my terrible high school life, and the next thing I knew, the stones were missing and now Porygon is nowhere to be seen."

"Uh, Rock?" asked Regice. "I hate to break it to you, but I think Porygon was the one that stole the stones."

"What?!" yelled Regirock. "Preposterous! We've known each other for like twenty minutes! Porygon would never do something like that!"

"Seriously, dude!" Registeel crossed his arms as well. "You can't be this stupid. You're the one that got straight A's. Porygon was obviously the stealer. Besides, you've only known him for twenty minutes. That's not very long."

"Well, screw me," muttered Regirock. "I though Porygon was my friend."

"I'm sorry, Regirock," assured Regice. "If it makes you feel any better-"

"We can chase after his ass!" chanted Regirock excitedly.

"Well, of course, now you're upbeat," muttered Regice.

They decided to chase after Porygon. They eventually found him approaching Mewtwo.

"Hey!" yelled Regirock. "You seem familiar. What's your name?"

"I am Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenway," stated Mewtwo.

"Ooo, that's a pretty name," admired Regice.

"I'M MEWTWO, YOU [bleep]HEADS! Remember? We lived in the same flippin' building."

"Nah, I don't recall," said Registeel.

"Whatever, I still got the pyramid thingies! Suck on that!" He and Porygon escape.

"Crap," said Regirock.

"Sorry they escaped, bro," apologized Registeel.

"It's fine," answered Regirock. "In fact, you guys did so well, I think I'll unground you."

"Really?" Regice lightened up.

"Just promise me you'll be more mature."

"We promised," said the brothers.

"Good."

"Does that mean we no longer have to clean our nonexistent bathroom?"

"Sure."

"Sweet!"


	12. Relax, The Fic Hasn't Ended

**Smeargle cults. 50 Shades of Gray and My Immortal references. Rocky montages. Legendary Pokémon attending high school. Nutella. Random musical numbers. This story just keeps getting crazier and crazier. Sorry about the long delay. I got lazy.**

 **No, that's not really the case. I've just been a bit too busy, what with college and life in general to keep up with this account. I'll probably be too busy to post anymore chapters during the school year, but I'll still try my best. And yeah, I know this chap is very short, but I mainly just posted it to let all my watchers know that I'm not dead.**

 **Anyway, like always, enjoy!**

* * *

As soon as the Regi brothers got settled in their living room, Emma and Quagsire came storming in.

"ALRIGHT, YOU MAGGOTS," Emma yelled. "TIME TO HAND OVER THE TREASURE, OR FACE OUR WRATH!"

"If we die, I'm blaming you for this," Regice told Regirock.

"You know, I'm this close to re-grounding you," Regirock replied.

"So...what should we do now?" Regice asked.

"Let's kick their butts!" Registeel yelled as he positioned into battle.

"I'm with Registeel," said Regice.

"Tsk, fine," said Regirock. "We'll battle them. After all, we're powerful legendary Pokémon, and these two are just normal Pokémon. How hard could it possibly be?

One battle later...

The Regi brothers are laying on the floor all beaten up.

"I can't believe they actually beat us."

"Now hand over the treasure!" demanded Quagsire.

"Sorry, but we don't have any treasure," stated Regirock.

"Someone stole it all," said Regice.

"ARE YOU KIDDING?!" Emma yelled in rage. "I went through 99 floors just for THIS?!"

"But at least we had a pretty awesome journey, right?"

"SCREW THIS! I'm going back home!" She stomped out of the room.

Quagsire stared at the Regis sheepishly. "Well..." he chuckled as he stroked the back of his head. "I better get going!" He frantically ran out of the room.

The Regis just stood there confused.

"What was that all about?" Regice asked.


	13. Just Plane Stupid

**Nothing is really happening much right now so I decided to write another chapter. And this time, a new (completely insane) arc is taking place. Based on a fanfic I once wrote that never took off.**

* * *

Emma and Quagsire were extremely exhausted upon returning to the mansion. As soon as they entered through the door, they passed out onto the couch.

"Well, that sure was a long, pointless day." Emma yawned.

"You tell me." Quagsire answered.

"Hey, want me to make some pizza rolls?"

"Sure."

Emma went over to the kitchen, got out some pizza rolls from the freezer, ripped open the bag, and poured the small frozen snacks. She preheated the oven to 425 degrees. She decided to pass the time by reading a few more chapters of "To Kill a Swellow". She settled comfortably on one of the bar stools of the kitchen counter and opened to the bookmarked page of the novel. It was very quiet, and only heard in the room was the faint gurgling sounds of the aquarium parked in the corner of the kitchen. For the first time in her life as a Pokemon, Emma felt relaxed. There is something about coming home from a long day of exploring an ancient temple and being tired that made her feel more calm than usual.

As soon as the oven beeped, Emma went over to the appliance, opened the door and shoved the pizza rolls in. Immediately, Pikachu came running in holding Junior, which ultimately ruined the moment for Emma.

"Emma! I got some great news!"

"What, Pikachu?" Emma droned.

"You, me, and Junior...are going...to Disney World!"

"Disney World!" Junior happily chanted.

"What?!" Emma reacted.

"To celebrate our two-week anniversary of being with Junior."

"Are you kidding?! I don't want to go to freaking Disney World! With you and that brat, no less!"

Junior begins whimpering.

"Emma, stop that! You're making Junior cry!"

"Good."

"You should apologize!"

"Why should I? Besides, why can't you and Junior go to Disney World yourselves?"

"Because this is a family vacation."

Kyogre barged into the kitchen. "Hey, did I heard you guys say 'Disney World'? I love that place! Can I come?"

"Daddy, can Uncle Kyogre come too?"

"Sure!" replied Pikachu.

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID THIS WAS A FAMILY VACATION!" Emma yelled.

"Kyogre's living with us so he counts, right?"

"Yeah, I know this trip's going to suck." The oven then beeped, indicating that the pizza rolls were ready. Emma took them out. "Who wants pizza rolls?"

"I do!" Kyogre grabbed the tray and poured the entire batch of delicious breaded combinations of cheese, pepperoni, and tomato sauce into his mouth. Emma and Pikachu glared at him as chews them, swallows them, then licks his lips. "Oh, sorry. Were you wanting some?"

Emma angrily glances at Pikachu. "If he uses up all our food money on this trip, I quit."

* * *

On the day of the trip, Pikachu, Emma, and Junior were already on the plane that was taking them to Orlando. Kyogre was in the back of the plane.

"So why does Kyogre have to sit in the back of the plane again?" Pikachu asked.

"So that we're not associated with him."

Kyogre was busy trying to flirt with a Lopunny who was serving as a flight attendant.

"So...why don't we both do some of our own magic? Together? You and me? You get the innuendo, correct?"

Lopunny takes out a bottle of mace and sprays Kyogre in the eyes. Kyogre screams in pain. Back at Team Awesome's seat, Emma was getting fed up at a young Chimchar who was kicking her seat.

"Ugh! This is exactly why I hate kids! They annoy me to no end!"

"But Emma, aren't we still technically kids?" Pikachu asked.

Emma's seat is kicked several more times.

"Who even cares? I just want this twerp to stop kicking my seat!"

"Boy, I sure can't wait for Disney World," Pikachu happily gloated. "It's gonna be so much fun! I can't wait to meet all the characters, like Mickey Ratatta, and Donald Psyduck, and all the Pyroar King characters! Ooo! And also my absolute favorite Disney character of all time, Peter Pansage! So, Junior," Pikachu asked. "Who are you wanting to meet?"

"Tinker Beldum!" Junior happily replied.

"Cool! Tinker Beldum is my favorite Disney princess!"

"TINKER BELDUM'S NOT EVEN A PRINCESS! AND THEY'RE JUST DUDES IN COSTUMES!"

"Emma!" Pikachu snapped. "How dare you deny the magic of Disney!"

"Disney isn't magic, idiot. They're just a bunch of businesspeople stripping money from ignorant parents and children."

Junior began whimpering.

"Emma, will you stop it already. Trying to make Junior sad." Pikachu began to comfort Junior. "There, there. Emma's just being a negative Nancy, that's all. But you'll feel better once we all go on the awesome rides! Like Space Mountain, and the Rock 'n Rollercoaster, and Expedition Everest, and Mission: Space, and the Tower of Terror, and that one ride with all those creepy singing animatronics."

"I DIDN'T EVEN ASK FOR THIS CHILD!" Emma screamed at the top of her lungs. Everyone on the plane began staring at Team Awesome. Pikachu whispered into Emma's right ear. "It doesn't help that we're not even at our second stage of evolution."

Just then, the Chimchar sitting behind Emma began to furiously Emma's seat some more. Emma finally snapped. "That's ENOUGH!" she angrily glanced behind her. "Do that again and I'm using Double-Edge on your-" she gulped as she saw a ticked-off looking Infernape in the other seat glaring at her. "Never mind." She turned back around, to which the Chimchar continued to kick her seat. Emma sighed.

"I was right. This vacation's definitely gonna blow."


	14. Evening At The Pool (Plus Shopping)

**Yeah, I'm probably going to partially base this off my Disney World trip from when I was 16, boiling down to the same resort that I stayed in.**

 **Wait, I was 16 three years ago...**

 **HOLY CRAP TIME FLIES.**

 **Eventually I'll die of old age and won't be able to make fanfiction anymore ;-;**

 **But oh, well. I'll make the best out of this profile while I'm still alive, young, and well. Enjoy this new chapter!**

* * *

"WE'RE HERE!" Pikachu gazed up in awe as they glanced up at the entrance to Walt Disney World. "Omigawd! I'm so excited I could pee myself!"

"Okay, gross," remarked Emma.

"We better check into our hotel. Apparently we're supposed to have a reservation for the All-Star Movies Resort. Well, since we most likely want to get some rest before going to our first stop, which by the way is Epcot, followed by Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, and finally Hollywood Studios, how about we spend the rest of the day swimming?"

"Good, I can finally catch a nap, since I wasn't able to sleep on the plane due to those uncomfortable plane chairs and that annoying Chimchar kicking my seat."

"Oh, no. You're swimming with Junior all right. We promised we would have our fair share of spending time with him."

"You've gotta be kidding me. I hate this place already. Well, at least we're not going to the waterparks. The last thing I want to spend my vacation doing is swimming in thousands of people's bodily fluids."

"Hey, don't sweat it," said Kyogre. "I do that all the time."

So Emma, Pikachu, Junior, and Kyogre made their reservations, dropped their stuff off in their hotel rooms (Kyogre payed for his own hotel room, since he preferred having a room all by himself for reasons that should not be mentioned in a rated T story), had dinner, and took a short nap. They were ready to go swimming. For some reason, the group still wore swimsuits, despite that they already had no clothes on begin with (then again, most half-dress cartoon animals do, so where's the logic behind that, huh?). Pikachu and Junior wore swim trunks, while Emma wore a normal one-piece bathing suit. Kyogre wore a speedo (I gave you a bad image, didn't I?) to show off his "sexiness" (as he believes he possesses) to everyone at the pool. Nobody thought he was sexy, fortunately, and were even dismayed at the sight of seeing him in his swimsuit.

"Miltankabunga!" Kyogre exclaimed as he jumped into the pool. As soon as he hit the water, all the liquid in the pool began to fly out drenching everything around the pool and leaving the inside of the pool completely devoid of water. "Hey, where did all the water go?" He notices that everything surrounding the pool (except for the pool itself) was drenched. "Uh oh," he sheepishly smiled as everyone began to glare at him angrily.

Since Kyogre sabotaged what was originally going to be a day of relaxing by the pool, Team Awesome decided to check out what was inside the gift shop near the food court. Just as you would expect, it was the typical overpriced (yet adorable) Disney merchandise you see at a typical Disney store. And Emma, as you would expect, wasn't too thrilled about the "overpriced" aspect. "Twenty-five dollars for a pint-sized Winnie the Teddiursa doll?!" she yelled. "That's outrageous!"

"Emma, relax. This is the perfect time to let loose and spend a bit more than you normally spend. And look at how adorable these Olaf the Snover earmuffs are! I'm going to buy some! Along with these Sven the Stantler mittens!"

"WE'RE IN FLORIDA IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SUMMER IN NEARLY 100 DEGREES WEATHER! WHY DO YOU NEED EARMUFFS AND MITTENS?!"

"Oh look!" Pikachu pointed out. "0.00001% off on Electabuzz Lightyear figurines! I so gotta buy some!"

"By the time this vacay is over, we're gonna be homeless. Oh, wait. We have God living with us so that can't happen."

"Oh, and I can't forget these Jack Fearow action figures!"

Several hours of wasting money and bad puns later...

It was already getting dark by the time they were done shopping. Emma was struggling to carrying a bunch of merchandise to the hotel room. When they finally arrived at the room, she dropped all the stuff on the floor carelessly.

"That was fun!" said Pikachu. "Wasn't it?"

"Yeah, we just wasted $800 on useless junk."

"Hey, I heard they were playing The Little Milotic over by the pool!" said Pikachu. "Let's go watch!"

"Yaaaaay! The Little Milotic!" yelled Manaphy in excitement.

"I suppose since I literally have nothing better to do," sighed Emma.

They sat outside at the pool to watch the movie. Pikachu tapped on Emma. "Emma?" he whispered

"What?" Emma sternly asked.

"How come I never hear about your old life? As a human?"

"Probably because it's none of your business. Also, this isn't Young Justice or Avatar: The Last Airbender."

"Sorry, I was just asking."

"I'm going to bed." She got up and headed back to the hotel room.


	15. Test Track

The next day has finally arrived, and it was about time for them to head to Epcot. The team had breakfast at the food court, got all their supplies like sunscreen, towels, sunglasses, hats, ECT gathered up, and they were just about ready to head to the bus that took them to Epcot. By the time they got there, the whole park was packed, and the lines were hours long.

"Great, just great," Emma complained. "Now we have to wait in line hours upon end now." They were just now passing by the Spaceship Earth, whose line was approximately four hours long. "Are you kidding?! A four hour wait?! What a load of Tauroscrap!"

"So, we'll just wait 'til the line dies down," stated Pikachu. "No worries. Besides, I already got fast tracks for the best rides."

"Which are?"

Pikachu groaned. "Test Track, Mission to Mars, and Spaceship Earth. Seriously, do you know anything about this park?"

"I haven't been to this park in over three years. Not since, you know, it happened."

"What happened?"

"Never mind. Let's just head over to Test freaking Track and get that crap over with."

"Hey!" one Grovyle called out to the group, to their surprise.

"Who us?" Pikachu asked, confused.

"Yeah, you! You're those guys who saved the world from that meteor! You're famous all over the globe! And I'm a huge fan of yours!"

"Actually, that was Magnemite that saved the wor-" Emma shut Pikachu up by shoving a half-eaten corndog she found lying on the ground into his mouth.

"Yes, we are those guys!"

"Sweet! Hey, everyone! It's Team Awesome! They're the ones who saved the world!"

Everyone immediately begin crowding around Team Awesome, asking for autographs.

"Cool, we're famous," said Emma.

"All I wanted was a normal family vacation," Pikachu laments. "And then this happens."

"HEY!" Kyogre bellowed, quieting the crowd. "What about me? I'm famous as well!"

"Uh, who is that guy?" asked a Geodude.

"Don't know, don't care," remarked a Dustox.

The crowd continued to chatter and ask for autographs.

"Wait! No! I'm famous! I'm the legendary Kyogre! Appreciate me! Why won't you appreciate me?!" He began sobbing and running off (or floating?).

"Anything else I can do for you, Team Awesome?" Grovyle asked.

"Yeah," said Emma. "How about letting us cut the line to Spaceship Earth?"

Later, the team headed over to Test Track, where people kindly let them pass through the line. "Awesome!" Emma stated. "We didn't even have to use the fast track on this! We can get on the ride whenever we want and we don't even have to wait!"

"I can tell SOMEONE has fame rushed all to her head," Pikachu glared.

"Oh, shut up," grumbled Emma. "This is the first time people are respecting us for something noble we did and you're not even appreciating it."

"Since when were you so happy about getting on the rides? I thought you didn't even want to be here."

"Whatever," she said as they climbed into the car. "Let's just shut up and enjoy what this ride has to offer us."

The ride finally started up."

Junior started screaming and bawling at the top of his lungs due to being scared at how dark and scary the ride was to him, causing tremors and drowning out the voice and ambience over the intercom. The ride immediately stopped due to the earthquake Junior caused to avoid any serious injuries.

"OH MOUNT PYRE NO! This is my worst nightmare," grumbled Emma. "Being trapped on a ride, forced to listen to Junior's crying. That's it. I'm out of here." She began to climb out of the car, but Pikachu stopped her.

"Emma, what are you doing?! You can't just leave the car in the middle of the ride! Besides, the fun hasn't even started yet!"

"What's the point? I didn't ask for this trip. Why even bother? I'm probably just a burden."

"Alright, what's the deal?" Pikachu asked. "There's obviously something wrong. Why you're not having a good time at this place. Just tell me."

"Fine. You want me to tell you why I hate Disney World? Then I'll tell you. A few years ago, I went to Disney World with my parents, and out of nowhere some secret agents working for an unknown company kidnapped them for reasons unknown, and I never saw them again. That's why I hate Disney World. Happy?"

"Oh, Emma," Pikachu looked sad. "I'm so sorry. But the past is the past and you can't change that. Was it really Disney's fault as a whole that a couple of secret agents took them away?"

"Huh, I guess not," said Emma. "Maybe I was being a bit too accusatory. Maybe I should just enjoy this park and forget about a past that I can't change."

"You know," said Pikachu, smiling. "We've only been here for an hour. It's not too late to enjoy it."

"You're right," said Emma.

Suddenly, the ride started working again. "Hooray!" cheered Pikachu. "It's working!"

They eventually got to the best part of the ride. "Here it is! The best part! Get ready to scream!" Finally, the car rushed down the track with extreme speed as they scream in excitement.

"That was AWESOME!" Emma exclaimed upon exiting the ride. "I was wrong about hating this place. This park ROCKS!"

"I'm glad you think so," Pikachu smiled.


	16. Kyogrenapped

So far, Pikachu and Emma had an awesome week at Disney World. They rode rides, ate a bunch of delicious food, took pictures with the characters, and did all sorts of stuff. Eventually the week comes to a close and they reach their last day. The two were at Hollywood Studios where they left the Rock 'n Roller Coaster.

"Man, I can't believe it's been two months since the author last updated," Emma pointed out.

"Yeah, I know," Pikachu said. "It feels like we've been in Disney World forever. Anyway, it's getting pretty late, and Junior looks like he's getting tired. Guess our time at Disney World is over now."

"Yeah, these were filler chapters anyway," said Emma. "By the way, I wonder where Kyogre is."

"Probably just hitting on chicks from other countries."

"Speaking of which, Pikachu, I always wondered. Are we supposed to be American or Japanese? Because Pokemon is Japanese, but we have a bunch of American pop culture references in our stories and use a lot of American slang. So what exactly are we?"

"Look, I don't know, okay? Let's just go look for Kyogre."

Meanwhile, Kyogre was drowning out his sorrows at a bar.

"Why does everyone hate me?!" He cries as the bartender, an Aegislash, just looks at him sternly.

"Dude, we're almost closing. Do you mind leaving?"

Kyogre angrily towers over the sword Pokemon. "What did you SAAAAY?!"

"Ummm...the park is almost closing. We need you to leave."

"Ok..." mumbled Kyogre as he exited the bar.

As soon as he left, he was greeted by a bunch of guys in white suits.

"Oh hey! Are you guys my fans? Wait, what are you-" He screamed as they threw a net over him and dragged him to a van. Emma and Pikachu were watching the whole scene as they heard screaming.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" Emma shouted.

"Duh, what does it look like?" said one of the workers, who was a Hitmochan. "We found the legendary Pokemon Kyogre. We're taking him to Sea World so that everyone can see him."

"Yes, finally someone awknowledges me!" Kyogre celebrated. "But still, GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"Okay, have fun at Sea World, Kyogre."

"What?!" Pikachu shouted.

"Thanks!" The man said as they shoved Kyogre into the van and drove off.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kyogre screamed as he road away.

"Emma, why would you do that?!"

"Well, we don't need Kyogre anyway. I figured he'd be happier at Sea World."

"But we do need him to use Dive and Surf."

"Hmmm...good point. Okay, fine we'll save him."

So they took off for Sea World. And hopefully the author will start posting chapters regularly for now on.


End file.
